The One with the Shopping Trip

The One with the Shopping Trip

This week’s word is shopping or grappling – I’m not sure when I take my gremlin shopping.

It was a rainy Monday and I was going to be stuck in all day. Going insane with my little shadow who I adore but there is only so much pottering around we can do all day, so we ventured out.

 

I have to write in the third person as I can’t actually believe I endured the trip without a meltdown myself. It was such a good job I was in a good mood…..

Mummy and daughter arrive in town and park up. Mummy lets lovely daughter roam free from the buggy as her health professional brain is paranoid she does not walk about enough. Daughter is lovely; follows Mummy around through BHS and Boots. Stops touching things when Mummy asks and presses the lift buttons, looking angelic.

Mummy is way too smug for her own good and lets said daughter have a go on her first ride which she loves, as she was being so good. Daughter has a fit when it ends and wants to go in the “bus” this time. At £1.50 for a 30 second go, ride can get stuffed. Mummy has to almost sit on her daughter to get her back in the buggy.

Mummy endures a screaming child all around New Look and will have to take a top back as she couldn’t try anything on. Mummy resorts to giving hysterical child her iPhone to look at pictures of herself on the very sodding ride that started the whole tantrum.

Peace descends and everyone is happy. Shopping continues until duo reach Claire’s Accessories and Mummy needs iPhone to look at a photo. Mummy puts iPhone away and the crying restarts.

Daughter tells Mummy she wants “her tea” and is “hungry”. Mummy offers daughter a banana which is refused. Crying intensifies. Mummy gives daughter a gold magic wand to keep her quiet. Mummy has no intention of buying this. Mummy chooses a couple of bits and puts gold wand back. Hysteria ensues and Mummy buys daughter a Peppa Pig headband that does not match daughter’s clothes and looks ridiculous.

Mummy goes across to Superdrug to look for a nutritious snack. Exits with a Dairylea Dunker (!) and sits for an inordinate amount of time whilst daughter scrapes EVERY LAST smidgen of Dairylea from the pot. Mummy realises she has left her debit card in Claire’s and lost daughter’s water bottle.

Mummy collects card and wanders around shopping mall with her daughter carrying her water bottle, which daughter drops and Mummy has to clean up spillage, as likelihood of some old dear slipping and breaking her hip = 100%.

Daughter must try on all hats in H and M and spends 5 minutes climbing on benches in the mall for a rest. Daughter ensures Mummy has a sit down too.

Duo emerge from the mall. Daughter insists on chasing pigeons and crashing into shoppers. Mummy has to sit on daughter for the second time to get her back into the buggy. Daughter demands banana but refuses to eat opened squishy bit. Eats other half. Mummy decides it is time to go home.

Mummy and daughter pay for parking and return to the car. Mummy puts daughter in the car, not before daughter squeezes Mummy and tells her for the first time she loves her. Mummy’s heart melts and daughter falls asleep.

Mummy will have to take top back on Wednesday and will never let said (gorgeous) daughter out of her buggy again.

Mummy would love to hear about any other Mummy’s fun shopping trips