This post is ranty. RANTY.
Why on earth is it every time hubby and I choose to stay up a bit late, have a glass of wine. Actually spend some decent time together, the gremlin decides it is the morning she is going to wake up and scream the house down?
Is she psychic? Is my measly 3rd of a bottle of wine emitting alcohol fumes to wake her?
I wish I knew.
Hubby and I had a lovely night, wine, watching The Tudors again (me getting swatted for drooling over Henry Cavill) and generally having a good time.
It must have been 11.30pm before I nodded off and I had that sinking feeling that I knew if the gremlin woke up early I would be screwed.
So at 4.45am when we heard the gremlin stirring my heart sank. Hubby went off to get her some milk in desperate hope she would go back to sleep. I was pretty convinced she would as had fallen asleep late that evening. I went and I tried to cover the wriggler up but when the little monster refused to let me touch her and was kicking the covers off I knew we were in for hell. I could feel the smoke starting to come out of my ears.
She went mental. MENTAL. Complete hysteria. No real reason. Nothing we could do to calm her down. I could barely open my eyes and my head was really achy. Hubby got a mouthful. I really lost my temper with him for fussing over the gremlin and it was all I could not to throw her roughly back into her bed.
I don’t know why but sometimes my blood just boils. BOILS. I think hubby and I both get so irrational during the night. I had to go back to bed, have a strop and calm down (standard and it doesn’t take long). But honestly I just wanted more SLEEP! Desperately!
The screaming continued on and off until 5.30am. She came into our room pathetically and got into bed. Hubby went into the spare room.
You would think what followed would be a fairytale scene; snuggling up together and falling asleep. No. As my hubby pointed out, she is just like me; doesn’t want to be touched when she is stroppy or falling asleep. Can I blame her?
I must have nodded off 3 times to be woken by a kick or her asking me a question…. Oh my goodness SHUSH CHILD. I love you but for the love of God, please go to sleep!! I knew it was inappropriate to bribe her with chocolate before 6am and even I couldn’t cave and let her have my phone.
By 6.15am it went quiet and she looked asleep. I made the fatal error of rolling over and looking at my phone. Rookie, schoolboy error. Stupid, stupid Sarah. She climbed on top of me, kissed me (she has learnt cupboard love in the morning = YouTube) and I knew I was doomed.
With literal tears of frustration, I grabbed my dressing gown and took inspiration from a friend. We were getting up and watching Finding Nemo. This is exactly what we did and she was so flipping tired. she hardly moved.