Every Child is Different…

Every Child is Different…

I’m all for having a Dr Google now and then whether it be a problem with me or my gremlin. I know it’s best to check the NHS website, blah blah and REALLY try to avoid forums. Despite this I have found myself looking at forums now and then to see other’s experiences.

One of the fab thing about the blogging community is the sense of community, especially the parenting circle. It’s fab that you can tweet a question, nosey on a social media group or probably find a blog post about the same issue that you are having! It’s reassuring and supportive.

However, how helpful is it?

Any readers know I have issues with the gremlin eating fruit and we did have a bit of a mare getting her to start her potty training. She wanted us to stay with her for ages until she slept for a while. She was waking at 5am for ages. For all of these issues or phases, I chatted to friends, googled, read some blogs. Of course there were relatable stories, tips and hints but did anything work? Β Anybody’s suggestions help? Absolutely not! We tried plying my daughter with water and bribing her with chocolate; she still refused the potty. We tried putting her to bed later; she still woke at 5am.

Fast forward to now; the gremlin sleeps better, she’s taken to the potty, she ate a satsuma today! She’s done well but when SHE was ready to do these things. No amount of me pushing or using other people’s strategies helped.

The word wide web in some respects is a dangerous and pressurising place for parents. It can have all the positive help and support but it can disguise judgement, expectation and comparison very easily. Potty trained 18 month olds, perfect sleepers and model eaters. Rare but they are there so why is your child not the same?

This seems kind of negative eh? Like there’s no point in sharing experiences or positive results. I don’t mean that. Reading successful potty training stories or ways of disguising fruit makes me feel positive so ultimately it helped in some way.

However, I kind of feel I need to chuck all the books out, ditch Google and just let my gremlin get on with it! Of course anything worryingly medical is different but phases are phases. They do pass. What I have learnt from the gremlin is she likes control and will reach milestones when she is ready, not when a book, a forum, or a blog post tells me.

Kids will do things at their pace. Let them be. We will all be happier.

My Kid Doesnt Poop Rainbows
my petit canard

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24 Comments

  1. February 29, 2016 / 7:45 am

    I think you are right, this is also why we have to be wary of these parenting books because whilst they can be useful as a guide you can end up worrying a lot. They will do everything when they are ready, not when Dr Google or the parenting groups/books say πŸ™‚ #marvmonday

    • RunJumpScrap
      Author
      March 1, 2016 / 8:58 pm

      I agree! They are so contradictory. Thanks x

  2. February 29, 2016 / 9:17 am

    Very wise words and I think that we could all do to remind ourselves of this on a regular basis. It is so easy to pile pressure on ourselves and our children, when in fact you are totally right. They will do whatever “it” is when they are ready.
    Dawn x
    #marvmondays

    • RunJumpScrap
      Author
      March 1, 2016 / 7:59 pm

      It really is! I’m trying to calm down x

  3. February 29, 2016 / 10:16 am

    I think you are right, there can be too much information out there and expected milestones to meet, they all get there in the end, just let them set the pace. #marvmonday

    • RunJumpScrap
      Author
      March 1, 2016 / 7:59 pm

      Thanks Fiona πŸ™‚ x

  4. February 29, 2016 / 7:00 pm

    I agree! When my daughter wasn’t sleeping, every forum/website said that controlled crying would work. They made it sound like a miracle cure, but it didn’t work for us. Eventually, she just started sleeping a hit better on her own – but only when she was ready to do it. #fartglitter

    • RunJumpScrap
      Author
      March 1, 2016 / 7:58 pm

      Totally! Glad she did though…zzzzzz x

  5. Nige
    February 29, 2016 / 7:51 pm

    A brilliant post and Sarah you have hit the nail on the head all children will progress at their pace and yes their will always be the very rare ones that are textbook ours certainly weren’t and does it really matter as long as they get there in the end far too much peer pressure xx

    • RunJumpScrap
      Author
      March 1, 2016 / 7:57 pm

      Thanks Nigel for the comment πŸ™‚ xx

  6. February 29, 2016 / 8:51 pm

    Oh ues, this is very true. I think it’s so important to just lets children develop at their own pace, lovely post hun. #marvmondays

    • RunJumpScrap
      Author
      March 1, 2016 / 7:57 pm

      Thanks hun x

  7. February 29, 2016 / 9:49 pm

    Oh I know what you mean. In my head, I know that Piglet will not do things until he is ready, but it can be so tempting to try to look for solutions or wonder if there’s something wrong when other children are doing something or not doing something! I keep reading online that by 18 months children should say an average of 6 words, but Piglet (19 months) can only say one, which sends me into a spin thinking there must be something wrong, even though I know there isn’t. #fartglitter

    • RunJumpScrap
      Author
      March 1, 2016 / 7:57 pm

      I used to look all over! But with my girl I have just realised she will do nothing until she wants to x

  8. February 29, 2016 / 10:09 pm

    LOVE this post!! So very true. My son pot trained when he was good and ready and not a minute before. He lived on mac and cheese for about three months and it was only when he was ready to try something else did he change … granted he only accepts pizza as an additional food group, but I’m going to see this as progress! But I’d have been less stressed if I’d just gone with his timing, and he’d probably have been happier! Thanks for sharing this! Visiting from #fartglitter

    • RunJumpScrap
      Author
      March 1, 2016 / 7:56 pm

      Thanks Jennifer! I think being less stressed so the best way and you all feel better x

  9. March 1, 2016 / 12:56 pm

    So true. Most kids get there in their own good time – completely ignoring whatever timings a blog or a forum will tell you! Sometimes it’s easier to just let them get on with it πŸ™‚

    • RunJumpScrap
      Author
      March 1, 2016 / 7:55 pm

      Thanks Mrs Tubbs…just really realised this x

  10. March 1, 2016 / 4:34 pm

    There are a million permutations and combinations that can be used ! so let’s all hope our our combination works and be sure that everything will be fine anyways! Pls do share your posts at the practical mondays link up!:)

    • RunJumpScrap
      Author
      March 1, 2016 / 7:54 pm

      Thanks lots. You are right x

  11. March 2, 2016 / 8:22 am

    Right on sister! Back in the day you had to go by what your mother did or perhaps what your neighbour suggested and whilst I’m so grateful for the access to the world I have, sometimes less is more.

  12. March 2, 2016 / 4:35 pm

    Amen to that! It’s so true every child is different and I’ve learnt to embrace it with Noah as with Finley I compared all the time. #marvmondays xx

  13. March 2, 2016 / 9:23 pm

    If it’s any consolation my 9yo and 6yo are still wearing pullups at night! I’d be lying if I said I’m not worried about my 9yo but it’s a mild concern because I know he won’t be heading off to university packing the pampers in his rucksack and the number of people I know who had the same situation is unreal. I’m probably a bit too laid back to be honest but I can honestly say for all my faults as a mum, I’ve never ever worried about what stage they were at (talking/walking/toilet training/writing etc) because it’s such a waste of energy. So you have the right attitude in my opinion. #MarvMondays

  14. March 3, 2016 / 10:53 pm

    Hi Sarah, I was literally nodding my head in agreement as I read each part of this post. I completely and totally agree. This has been my experience too, that you cant compare and that children/babies do things in their own time. I probably spent the first 6 – 8 months of the little ladys life stressing about getting her to sleep in a routine etc, before realising that she would just do it in her own time and let her be. Life was so much easier from then on. Easier to say now than when you are in the moment, desperate and sleep deprived, but im hoping I dont forget that learning and realisation when baby number two arrives this summer! Thanks fo linking up to #MarvMondays πŸ™‚ Emily

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