I have been a Mother for all of 3 years and there are so many lessons you learn as you go along for the ride. It’s not just parenting your child; it’s all the other munchkins you meet on the way.
As I will be doubling my brood in the next few months with another daughter (wow I can’t believe it) I thought I would write about 10 of the parenting lessons I have learnt. All a little tongue in cheek:
- Always trust your gut instinct – if you think a heavy metal step during your physio session is going to fall on the head of your almost 1 year old it probably will and errr did.
- Always put the child lock on both back doors in your car. If not you will give a lift to a friend’s 3 year old and she will open the door when driving through Birmingham.
- Don’t even bother comparing your kids to others of the same age. You will be smiling through gritted teeth when your mate tells you about all the fruit her kid eats and she has been dry through the night since day one of pants wearing. But hey, your kid never bothered with teething, had verbal diarrhoea from 18 months and sleeps through. Swings and roundabouts eh?
- Try not to shout. This is so hard and hubby and I have blown up a good few times. There’s only so many times “Mummy” or “Daddy” can be shouted in 10 seconds and when your child throws her dirty knickers into the bath just after being told not to; the smoke starts to comes out of your ears. Seriously though it doesn’t work and you all just feel crap. Calm thoughts my lovelies.
- Partners! Listen to your wife. When she tells you she thinks your child will probably vomit at some point, likely they will. Don’t sit them on the sofa minus a bucket and towels or you will have to catch the vomit in your hands and the sofa throw.
- Never count your chickens. Your kids will eat a banana one day and never eat a sodding one again. They will poo on the potty twice in a row and then steal pull ups to go for the foreseeable future.
- Bribery does work…oh yes! I have had plates cleared for 6 chocolate buttons.
- Don’t ban the odd bit of junk food. If you eat it, it is very hard not to give it to them and if they eat well, then why not? Just beware you may end up with a child who tells nursery chocolate ice-cream is what makes her happy?!
- Answer their questions as honestly as you can to feed their inquisitive minds. Bear in mind though your child may talk about babies coming out of “twinkles” and ask if there is blood in her bottom/head/nails (insert any body part).
- If you can let it go then do! If you child wants to get changed 4 times a day into various dresses then go with it. They are happy and you avoid a meltdown.
Ah I hope you have enjoyed my little nuggets of wisdom but honestly just go with the flow and enjoy it. Best advice really is to ignore all the advice!