10 Things I have Learnt Parenting the Gremlin

I have been a Mother for all of 3 years and there are so many lessons you learn as you go along for the ride. It’s not just parenting your child; it’s all the other munchkins you meet on the way.

As I will be doubling my brood in the next few months with another daughter (wow I can’t believe it) I thought I would write about 10 of the parenting lessons I have learnt. All a little tongue in cheek:

  • Always trust your gut instinct – if you think a heavy metal step during your physio session is going to fall on the head of your almost 1 year old it probably will and errr did.
  • Always put the child lock on both back doors in your car. If not you will give a lift to a friend’s 3 year old and she will open the door when driving through Birmingham.
  • Don’t even bother comparing your kids to others of the same age. You will be smiling through gritted teeth when your mate tells you about all the fruit her kid eats and she has been dry through the night since day one of pants wearing. But hey, your kid never bothered with teething, had verbal diarrhoea from 18 months and sleeps through. Swings and roundabouts eh?
  • Try not to shout. This is so hard and hubby and I have blown up a good few times. There’s only so many times “Mummy” or “Daddy” can be shouted in 10 seconds and when your child throws her dirty knickers into the bath just after being told not to; the smoke starts to comes out of your ears. Seriously though it doesn’t work and you all just feel crap. Calm thoughts my lovelies.
  • Partners! Listen to your wife. When she tells you she thinks your child will probably vomit at some point, likely they will. Don’t sit them on the sofa minus a bucket and towels or you will have to catch the vomit in your hands and the sofa throw.
  • Never count your chickens. Your kids will eat a banana one day and never eat a sodding one again. They will poo on the potty twice in a row and then steal pull ups to go for the foreseeable future.
  • Bribery does work…oh yes! I have had plates cleared for 6 chocolate buttons.
  • Don’t ban the odd bit of junk food. If you eat it, it is very hard not to give it to them and if they eat well, then why not? Just beware you may end up with a child who tells nursery chocolate ice-cream is what makes her happy?!
  • Answer their questions as honestly as you can to feed their inquisitive minds. Bear in mind though your child may talk about babies coming out of “twinkles” and ask if there is blood in her bottom/head/nails (insert any body part).
  • If you can let it go then do! If you child wants to get changed 4 times a day into various dresses then go with it. They are happy and you avoid a meltdown.

Ah I hope you have enjoyed my little nuggets of wisdom but honestly just go with the flow and enjoy it. Best advice really is to ignore all the advice!

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20 Comments

  1. June 3, 2016 / 6:48 am

    Haha love the little insights here and it is amazing how much you learn as a parent. From how to.clean tomato.sauce out of wverything to how to fish poo out of the bath. Haha youre right thiugh best to not stress too much and just go with the flow. Something i still struggle with some days even after 4 yrs!xx

  2. June 3, 2016 / 6:56 am

    Oh I can relate to several of these hun…. We often have the banana thing which does my nut in as I end up with tons of black nana’s lol.Popping over from #binkylinky
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  3. June 3, 2016 / 11:17 am

    I was nodding along reading your post and giggling too, I usually go by the motto ‘If you can’t beat them join them’ where kids are concerned. #WotW
    Angela Webster recently posted…Word of the Week – PlayMy Profile

  4. June 3, 2016 / 1:04 pm

    hehehe! This made me chuckle….The best advice really is to ignore all the advice. You learn as you go along on the parenting adventure x
    Kim Carberry recently posted…It has been a Super week! #WotWMy Profile

  5. June 3, 2016 / 1:28 pm

    Haha this is great. Our eldest is two and a half so I can definitely relate to a lot of these. Always have a nice bottle of wine to hand at the end of the day. #binkylinky

  6. June 3, 2016 / 8:00 pm

    Brilliant – can relate to this list! Going with the flow and enjoying it is honestly the best advice – very hard to do at times when you want to pull your hair out. Isn’t amazing what the prospect of a few chocolate buttons will do – mine suddenly become very helpful and well behaved if they know they might get some too! Huge congratulations on finding out you’re having another girl – I love having two of the same gender 🙂
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  7. June 3, 2016 / 9:39 pm

    Oh yes, I have learned all of these things too and yet I have to admit that some days, they ALL go out of the window!!!! Especially do not shout, some days I just cant help myself!!! #binkylinky
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  8. June 4, 2016 / 9:59 am

    Haha lovely things learned! With me its pick your battles. Like you I let go with clothes and plays inside the house if its going to give me peace.

    Motherhood is really about learning isnt it? This is such a lovely read. Thanks for sharing =)

    #wotw
    Merlinda Little (Glimmer of Hope) recently posted…The Wild WalkMy Profile

  9. June 4, 2016 / 5:39 pm

    Excellent words of advice lovely. I like your last point of “let it go” and it goes well with my favourite: “pick your battles” Sometimes it’s good to let them win the odd one, just be selective which one. To them the fact that they’ve been allowed to wear pink socks with their flip flops is a win, and might just make the fact that they’ve lost at just about every other safety / common sense / insane battle that day slightly easier to swallow. Brilliant tips. Love the bath / pants / ears scenario haha xx
    #justanotherlinky

  10. June 4, 2016 / 9:36 pm

    Love this and I need to remember the don’t shout one a I am not good at being calm at all!! X #binkylinky

  11. June 4, 2016 / 9:37 pm

    That kind of bribery doesn’t work for us – boo! If I offered chocolate buttons for mine to eat a few more moutfuls of their dinner, I’d never hear the end of ‘chocolate buttons’ and someone always ends up crying. Parenting definitely varies between people and going with the flow is the best way to parent, also a happy child means a happy parent. You’re right, some things just aren’t worth the battle! x #justanotherlinky

  12. June 5, 2016 / 11:10 am

    Hi Sarah, Gremlin has taught you a lot, and I’m sure the expected addition will add to your list. It would be sods law to lose the child of a friend, from the back seat of a moving car just because you forgot to child secure the door, it’s always the way.

    Letting it go is the best lesson of all, it’s one my husband has yet to learn but I’m holding nohope as his children are no longer children any more. Picking your battles goes hand in hand with that one too.

    xx
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  13. June 5, 2016 / 7:57 pm

    Wow, opening the door whilst driving, that’s pretty scary! Bribery works for us sometimes, but not all the time! Fab post hunny. Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky
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  14. Nige
    June 5, 2016 / 8:12 pm

    Now I pretty sure most of these have happened to me and car door my oldest managed to do that on a dual carriageway total panic don’t you just love children so much fun lol brilliant post as usual Sarah thanks for linking to the #binkylinky

  15. June 5, 2016 / 10:54 pm

    I agree with all of these – especially the shouting one. If I blow up at the kids its always me that ends up feeling rotten! Equally the learning to let it go, that is a really hard lesson to learn but so important, even more so with a second child! Hope the last bit of pregnancy goes well and good luck with everything 🙂 #binkylinky
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  16. June 6, 2016 / 6:38 pm

    These are truly good ones.

    #justanotherlinky

  17. June 9, 2016 / 9:04 am

    We learn such a lot as parents in such a short time. That made me laugh about the car door lock (sorry!) and it’s true to try and stay calm but it’s so hard!!!! Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx
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