I hate labelling my kids or more specifically labelling periods of their lives. “The terrible twos” is one such example.
We make up these labels to make ourselves feel better, to unite as parents when we are going through a more tricky period in parenting. The reason my little darling threw a monster strop in Toys R Us is because they are going through “the terrible twos”. Not they are just a stroppy little bugger and I wouldn’t buy her a Barbie!
The label that I hear being thrown around quite a lot is the “threenager”. Your toddlers act like a stroppy teenager but instead of waiting until their 13th birthday; they are 3 years old. I happen to have one of these right now and in true me form, thought I would share the 10 reasons when you know you also have a threenager.
- They are deaf. Completely DEAF! I must have to call my darling’s name 10 times in a row before she either acknowledges me, does as she is told or I completely lose my shit.
- They can be distracted with a hair they find on the floor; ANYTHING. As long as it means they go upstairs to find their socks and come down with an arm full of dollies, read to host a tea party. No honey pie, we are going out in approximately 3 minutes, your sister is having a meltdown and you need to find your socks!!
- They are the centre of the Universe and the world revolves around them. Forget trying to have a conversation around them; they scream until they are heard. A glass of water at 3am is completely acceptable and you will come and wipes their bums at any point in time.
- They are loud; very loud and never shut up. Usually when they are shouting “nooooooo” back at you when you have calmly asked them to turn the TV off to go and have their bath. Telling you a story at 6am is not how I want to be woken up.
- They quite often admit to not liking you.
- Sulking and stropping are quite common when they cannot have their way. This can range from flouncing off to full on screaming from being refused a tub of raisins to taking their scooter out.
- They have learnt the word why, usually asking questions that you really don’t want to answer. Like what has happened to Tiny Tim in Scrooge? Why is he buried? Arghhhhh!
- Their memories are amazing! NEVER promise anything if you are not going to deliver. No gossiping and make sure you hide things you don’t want re-surfacing well! They will get asked for.
- It’s their way or the highway. Forget I have been on this earth for 32 years and I know. Nope. They are always right. Puppies come from cats, don’t you know??
- If there is anything exciting on the cards (e.g. Christmas) take the intensity and mulitply by 10!
Writing this list made me chuckle writing this as a lot of it makes me laugh when it is happening. To be told you are not liked one minute and then told you are loved the next is quite amusing. To see your daughter’s serious pet lip and serious tone when she disagrees with you is hilarious. To talk about the serious aspects of life is what being a parent is all about. I wouldn’t change it for the world.