Two Babies, Two Types of Parenting

This week’s word has to be different. I read a post by Mummy Times Two this week on how different her two babies are. It’s odd, as you expect these creatures you created to be little clones of each other but genetics is a funny thing. They just aren’t!

My gremlin is the spit of her Dad, yet I have been told she is a mini me in personality at her age; loud, loving, stroppy, bossy, a very early talker, silly and generally lots of fun.

Little Piglet is definitely  like my side to look at. More people are saying very like me and my brother but has a much more chilled nature. I’m keen to to see how this will develop as she gets older. My brother was a laid back bean but his tantrums were legendary as he hit the 2 year mark!

It’s not just the kids that are different, parenting is different. I have done so many things differently with Piglet to the gremlin as a Mother.

  • Co-sleeping. I was so black and white with the gremlin and I didn’t want to do it at all. We didn’t either. With Piglet, however, especially in those early days, we did. If she had a feed and fell asleep with me, I would wake an hour later and move her back to her Moses. Cycle would repeat if she woke again. It didn’t matter; we all slept and were happy. It didn’t last long but worked.
  • The gremlin was moved to her cot in her own room at 6-8 weeks old. She was a dot. She was absolutely fine and loved it. With Piglet we waited until 4 months. Piglet definitely has picked up more illnesses and we preferred to have her close. Also I felt really sad about her leaving us. She is a much quieter sleeper than the gremlin and we really held off the move. This has gone really well!
  • Naptime stressing. I used to really want the gremlin to be in a routine with her daytime naps and used to want her to sleep alone. With Piglet, I just do not care and she has actually found her routine of around 3 x 30 minute naps a day; sometimes she feeds to sleep, other times she nods off in her bouncer.
  • Cuddling. I’m sad to write I worried about cuddling the gremlin too much. I didn’t want to make “a rod for my own back” blah blah. I have completely ignored this second time around. When Piglet did not want to sleep in the evenings we cuddled. I don’t always go out when my gremlin is at nursery; we snuggle on the sofa. These baby moments will be gone and I want to savour every second. I have definitely made up for it with the gremlin since!!
  • Not fretted as much about routine. Of course we wanted it and little Piglet has slotted into her big sisters. They share baths and as the gremlin has stories, Piglet is with me feeding. But it wasn’t such a big deal.
  • For me personally I have felt less pressure to get “myself” back again. To go out, to stop breastfeeding, to get my old life back. It did feel this with the gremlin and this time I don’t care. Piglet is likely to be our last baby and I want to savour her.

I think ultimately you are way more relaxed with your second and they are more chilled because of this. You have learnt, as a parent, you need to savour all the cuddles and snuggles as they just don’t last forever.

What about you? Did you parent differently with your first and next children?

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16 Comments

  1. February 3, 2017 / 8:44 am

    it’s always amazing when you spot the differences between your children and your parenting skills second time around. My first two were like chalk and cheese in looks and behaviour. Then when I had my other three they were all different too. Although, I can see the common things between my youngest son and the eldest despite there being a 23 year age gap! And daughter number 3 is exactly like my eldest daughter, whereas daughter number 2 is completely different to all of them. LOL, it’s hard keeping up when you have so many kids!

  2. February 3, 2017 / 8:44 am

    Aww! It is so sweet to read about your family….
    I was definitely more laid back with my 2nd….When she was a baby it was just more relaxed.
    I think you are right you do need to savour the cuddles. They grow up far too quickly x
    #WotW

  3. February 3, 2017 / 10:12 am

    I think I have parented all 4 of mine differently, I think the big age gaps I have meant that my style of parenting had naturally changed over the years. We are all about the cuddles in our house, I get them in now as when they turn in to teens cuddles are scarce ! Have a lovely weekend #WotW

  4. February 3, 2017 / 10:23 am

    It’s so interesting to look at the ways in which siblings are different. My two have quite different personalities too. So true that you tend to be more relaxed about parenting second time around. Glad to hear you are making the most of the snuggles (and have made up for it with the gremlin too!) and that Piglet being in her own room has gone so well 🙂 #WotW

  5. February 3, 2017 / 11:32 am

    Thank you so much, I’m more than a little bit overwhelmed by your kindness at the mention. You are very right, I think we relish those moments so much more, making less rules with the second – we are all too aware how fleeting they are.

  6. Emily
    February 3, 2017 / 12:13 pm

    It’s funny how children are different. Even though our girls are twins, they’re the complete opposite of each other! Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky

  7. February 3, 2017 / 1:50 pm

    It’s amazing how different they are isn’t it? And I think your parenting adapts to them a bit, as well as just being different second time round! Xx

  8. February 3, 2017 / 1:54 pm

    I think you are right – there is a little more confidence and relaxing with the next one. That’s bound to make a difference! #wotw

  9. February 3, 2017 / 2:02 pm

    Yes to all of this! My two were completely different babies, toddlers and now children and I was way more relaxed second time round. My youngest was a lot more cuddly then my first! Thanks for sharing with #WotW x

  10. February 3, 2017 / 2:52 pm

    Wow. Getting so big!

    I only have one for now, but my parenting style has been similar to what your are doing with your second. The only difference is the moving to her own room. Peachy has been sleeping in her crib since she was 2 months old. She has also been sleeping through the night since then. She has always slept better in her own room. When she slept with us, we kept waking her up. I try to savor every moment with my little one. From the day she was born, I knew I would miss this one day. I already miss the Peachy of a year ago, but I try to put that out of my mind by savouring the Peachy of today. #ThatFridayLinky

  11. February 3, 2017 / 9:15 pm

    Same!! Although I did like to get E into a routine when she seemed to be setting her own bedtimes so I could have the sitting room back to adults only haha. Otherwise yes very much different 2nd time around! Popping over from #WotW #ThatFridayLinky

  12. February 4, 2017 / 12:42 am

    Interesting post. Sadly my second led to post-natal depression and that had not shifted when I had my third. So I enjoyed the early days with my first born best but nowadays having got help can enjoy all 3. I have children who are very alike and very different all at the same time. Love that description of you as a youngster

  13. February 4, 2017 / 2:08 pm

    I’m sure that if a sibling for our daughter were to be totally different to her, we would not want any more because she is generally so laid back! #wotw

  14. Nige
    February 4, 2017 / 3:35 pm

    It’s amazing how different children are and how you have to approach them completly diffferently fantastic post and a super read x Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

  15. February 4, 2017 / 5:04 pm

    So true, I did things so differently the second time around, but I was the opposite, Jack was a terrible sleeper so with Joe I stuck to a routine rigidly, and they are so different in personality. It amazes me how they can be so different x

  16. February 4, 2017 / 10:22 pm

    I’m with you on thinking that they could have been a bit like clones as they have the same parents. Then I come to thinking about how I differ from my sisters and our daughters have their differences too. #WotW