Returning to work second time around – no it isn’t easier

It’s funny when you have your second baby. In fact any baby after your first! Usually things are a little easier. You kind of know what you are doing. You panic less. You have an older child or children to take care of and all your fuss and attention can’t go on this new baby.

sad looking baby in a hat

It does seem easier, well it did for me after little Piglet.

So I guess I expected it to be the same when returning to work after my second. In fact people had said it would be easier. So I guess I wasn’t expecting to find it quite so hard.

But I have.

Being at work is fine. Doing my job is fine. I’m fine when I’m there. It’s just everything around it.

The commute, the pick ups, eating, blogging, bath time and just not being there and not seeing two of them.

First time around I was silly and I threw myself back into work, not wanting to admit it was hard. I wanted to be strong and this was fine for the first 2 weeks. Then horrible insomnia and anxiety washed over me for a good 2 months. Was not a happy time, so I decided to cut myself some slack this time. It has helped in the respect I’ve put a lot less pressure on myself but the reality hit me immediately.

The gremlin has started school and as she is coming home with hubby, rather than her staying at nursery till I am home from work. She’s at home and I can’t catch up with her, do a bit of work with her. Some parents hate the school run but I love it. We live close to the school and although to get to do it for 2 days of the week but I miss it. I love seeing her little face as she runs out to me, smiling. I love her legging it home and us having a snack together with her sister.

Mum and her two girls

Little Piglet is absolutely fine at nursery and settled in with no problems but I still feel sad on the days I barely see her. I’m out very early and by the time I’m back it’s teatime and bath time and another day has gone.

I’m not a tearful person but they have flowed quite a lot over my first two weeks back. That sad little knot in my chest when the gremlin is struggling with something and me wondering if she would be more settled if I was at home. My little baby sitting all solemn when she comes back from nursery and I’m still not back.

Parenting. God who would do it? The guilt and the worry and the juggling. We all do it and of course it’s all relative. I know I’m very lucky too, as I CAN work and I don’t have to do it full time but you can’t help how you feel about something. No matter how lucky you feel, that little pang still hangs around.

I would never quit my job as it’s part of me. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am and do enjoy it. Plus the money helps! I also deep down think nursery is good for kids. They get so much out of it and do learn to be sociable and away from their parents for a bit, which I think is healthy. But these positive thoughts can go round and round my mind but I still feel that niggle.

For some everything second time around with children is easier but not returning to work for me.

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16 Comments

  1. October 31, 2017 / 10:40 pm

    Oh bless you. I found it much harder second time around too. I threw myself into it the first time round and just got on with it, where I’ve found myself second time round thinking about and missing the little ones much more than I thought I would. I was loving it when I first went back but the novelty is starting to wear off now 🙁

  2. November 1, 2017 / 5:58 am

    I used to run a daycare and many times the second child made returning to work so much more difficult. I think there were many factors, but it definitely seemed like a high percentage of people (usually moms) would decide to stay home once there was a second child. #BloggersBest
    Heather Keet recently posted…Poll Tuesday week 34…My Profile

  3. November 1, 2017 / 6:35 am

    Ah lovely, the last couple of weeks sound tough. It probably doesn’t feel like it right now but I’m sure it’ll get easier once you get into a routine etc. It’s so emotional isn’t it, this parenting lark? #bloggersbest
    Rach recently posted…Depression Is……My Profile

  4. November 1, 2017 / 7:54 am

    I can’t imagine how difficult it must be. I was very lucky to be able to take time out of work until my youngest started school and I now work from home. The most important thing is, your gorgeous girls know they have an awesome mummy who loves them very much, remember that when you’re finding it hard. You’re fab! #bloggersbest xxx

  5. November 1, 2017 / 10:13 am

    Ah sorry to hear you’re finding it hard. Nursery and school are definitely a godsend and so important (and obvs school isn’t optional).
    I totally get what you mean though and it’s the logistics of everything else which can be stressful.
    I’m sure you’ll find a routine soon and things will become easier.
    Coffee catch up soon for sure.
    #bloggersbest x

  6. November 1, 2017 / 12:25 pm

    Ah bless you Sarah,k I’m sorry you are finding it hard. It’s such a change from the old routine isn’t it? I hope it settles down for you soon. #bloggersbests

  7. November 1, 2017 / 1:32 pm

    Sorry to hear that you have and a difficult time. Change is always hard to deal with. I hope the feelings shift soon with the adjustment to the new routine X #bloggersbest

  8. November 1, 2017 / 2:07 pm

    Whoever said it is easier returning to work 2nd time is a liar! It’s hugely hard, I found it so, so tough and like you always have the guilt, it sucks. Big hugs lovely and you’re doing brilliantly. #BloggersBest
    Helen Gandy recently posted…Blogger’s Best LinkyMy Profile

  9. November 1, 2017 / 6:45 pm

    Hi, we are all different in how we’d adapt and it is a big change from the routine you had got used to. Reflecting on being too hard on yourself the first time and adapting to this now can only be good. Enjoy the job you worked hard for and kids can learn soo much at nursery #bloggersbest

  10. November 2, 2017 / 12:00 pm

    I’m sorry to hear you’re having a tough time being away from your girls. I don’t have any kids yet, but I can imagine the feeling. I’m sure your kids are doing great in school and nursery though – and I think nursery is good for children too! It’s great that you DO love your job though; I’m sure that’s helpful once you’re there. 🙂

    -Lauren

    #bloggersbest
    ShootingStarsMag recently posted…November 2017 Events In/Around Cincinnati, OhioMy Profile

  11. November 2, 2017 / 1:59 pm

    Oh you poor thing. It’s so tough isn’t it. The missing them and the guilt. I don’t think it will get easier as such but I’m sure you’ll get to a place where things seem a bit better. #bloggersbest

  12. November 2, 2017 / 6:10 pm

    I’m the same, I am finding parenting easier 2nd time around. But oh my goodness the anxiety I have recently at the thought of going back to work is keeping me up at night. & I’m not even due back until June next year.

    Well done for going back lovely. It won’t be long until you are in a new routine that suits you and the girls. Just find new ways or times of the day for ‘you time’. x #bloggersbest
    Renee @peonieandme recently posted…Family Events at the Liverpool Philharmonic – SpooktacularMy Profile

  13. November 3, 2017 / 8:22 pm

    It is hard to get back to work after #2, isn’t it? Always hard for a working mom. Hang in there…you’ll get into the groove of things pretty soon. :)Always get a glass (or a bottle) of wine ready at the end of the day. #bloggersbest

  14. November 7, 2017 / 8:14 pm

    Returning to work after number three was definitely harder for me than with number one or number two – there’s just so much to juggle now! ##bloggersbest
    Crummy Mummy recently posted…7 amazing uses for breast milkMy Profile

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