We had it this week. Our first monster tantrum in public. I survived. I wanted to punch the people in Tesco who were staring at me and worst of all I wanted to punch myself, as the tantrum was partly my fault!
Lets set the scene. It was Wednesday. My day off work and a lovely day. I had been to soft play with the gremlin and we had returned home for lunch. Now I know my girl has a good memory, a very good memory. I made the first school boy error of promising she could have her first Kinder Egg if she ate her lunch. She is OBSESSED with those random YouTube videos of people opening chocolate eggs so I thought, why not?
Turns out she didn’t eat her lunch as was exhausted, after an early morning rise and soft play. She had a strop and promptly fell asleep on the sofa. When she awoke she devoured a ham, cheese and peanut butter sarnie (oh yes!) and a bowl of Greek Yoghurt. She immediately asked for a chocolate egg. I was like WTF? Seriously? You actually remembered this? Note to self: never promise ANYTHING again. But I decided to take her to the shop as I needed a stamp. Also be good to get out in the sun.
Next question. Shall I take the buggy? It’s down the road. It’s warm. I’d been reliably informed by Grandma she had walked most of the way the weekend before. So I didn’t take it. I could carry her right? Wrong. Mahossive error. She lasted 5 minutes and didn’t want to walk. Wanted to be carried. All 13kg of her for the majority of the way. I tried putting her down and making her walk, holding her hand but she went nuts! I looked like the worst Mum ever, dragging her down my road. Going well so far.
We finally got to the sodding shop and I bought a stamp and proceeded to the chocolate egg shelf. She picked one and held it excitedly as we waited to pay.
Rookie error number 3.
Never give your child the treat until AFTER you have paid. I took it out of her hand and went to the self-service checkout. Cue meltdown, Cue deafening squeals. Cue mass hysteria. I couldn’t get the flipping machine to work. I pressed the wrong buttons as I couldn’t concentrate with the deafening noise and looks from other customers. I tried getting on the gremlin’s level and explaining (which does work sometimes but not when chocolate is involved. It is like crack to her and rarely allowed). As predicted this did not work. She was way too far gone. If I had the buggy I would have shoved her in it and put the stupid egg back and let her scream all the way home. But this was no way going to work. I paid for the darn egg finally and dragged her out.
The crying immediately stopped. We sat in the sun and opened the egg. The chocolate was gone in literally 30 seconds (I kid not). She eats like she is starved and no clue when she will be fed again. The little toy was chucked away and all she cared about was the plastic egg and the instructions!! I spent the next 5 minutes opening and closing the thing before I picked her up and carried her all the way home.
So what have I learnt? Shall I reflect?
NEVER promise anything!
NEVER leave the house without a buggy!
NEVER show them the prize until you have paid!
CHAOS WILL ENSUE!!!