The Gremlin’s New Year’s Resolutions

The Gremlin’s New Year’s Resolutions

I can’t be arsed with new year’s resolutions. I forget, lapse and end up breaking them so I’d rather be quite mindful all year around and keep changing how I think and behave when I need to; not because it is January 1st.

The gremlin on the other hand should make about 5000 and here are some of my thoughts:

  1. Eat more fruit. I mean COME ON!! You are the daughter of a Dietitian and you need your fruit. Aim for 2 pieces a day (raisins do not count in Mummy’s eyes).
  2. Your new wake-up time will be 7am on the dot each day, to ensure you are fully rested (and so am I).
  3. The potty/toilet will be your new best friend by January 2nd.
  4. Hold Mummy’s hand at all times and look like an angel child in New Look (hiding in the clothes is classed as being naughty).
  5. Give up that sodding dummy at naptime.
  6. Realise that chocolate/cakes and biscuits are a treat and a small amount is only allowed ONCE a day if your nutritious main meal is consumed first.
  7. Speak quietly at all times and avoid yelling (especially when the entire family house is asleep).
  8. Stop stealing; my drink, my pre-gym morning snack, my Christmas presents…theft is extremely naughty.
  9. Tidy up your toys when asked the first time (and avoid a stint on the naughty step).
  10. In fact just LISTEN and DO AS YOUR TOLD……..PERIOD!

If these resolutions can be kept Mummy will be very happy and sales of Sauvignon Blanc may actually hit crisis levels….

Happy New Year everyone!!!