When Are You Truly Alone?

When Are You Truly Alone?

There was some snow last Sunday morning, well a little and hubster decided to take the gremlin to the park for a bit, whilst I cleaned the house ready for some house viewings.

I settled down to the sink cleaning with my phone happily playing music in my pocket. As I drifted into thought, I was  suddenly brought back to the reality that I was on my own. Not just on my own but on my own in my house. Apart from my film soundtrack music merrily playing away, the house was silent. Then I had to ponder. When was the last time I was alone in my house? When I was last alone?

I don’t count it being in car driving to work, as it’s a chore and often I am on the phone  or listening to music. Going to the the loo doesn’t count; I often have an audience. I bath with the gremlin most nights and my showers usually involve some gremlin entertainment.  The naps have gone and a snoring child on the sofa is lush but doesn’t count. At bedtime I just want to sleep. Starting a cascade of thoughts is never a good idea, unless I’m happy to see 3am.

In reality I couldn’t remember the last time I was alone in my own house.  Or just alone. Pretty scary.

Day to day my hubby works from home and I am out the door by 7.15am on my working days and home between 5-6pm.   I’m first one out and last one in at all times. Three out the four days, I pick up the gremlin and on my later finish day; they are both home before me. Obviously, we all are together at weekends. Hubby and I get nights and even weekends off together, which are awesome and I cherish these but again together. Not alone.

I never get time alone in my own house.

I’m not someone who likes to be alone for too long, granted. I enjoy company, chats and just knowing someone is there. I’m not one who really craves solitude that often but for those twenty minutes were pure heaven.

I NEED that time. Sleep is all good for processing thoughts but sometimes I just need to think. Without interruptions. Without noise. I think everyone needs that time to be mindful for a few seconds and then have some time to process stuff that basically never gets processed. A bad day. A good day. To have a think about the past. Sometimes I forget to think about my late Dad or Grandparents and this makes me sad. My mind is too busy and my house is too noisy.  Can you remember the last time you truly sat and listening to the sound of your house? Creaks. The hum of the fridge. A scuffle from next door. As I said, I couldn’t. It’s always bustling. It’s always full. I’m not complaining; just reflecting.

I don’t think I have lost too much of myself becoming a parent. I always vowed I wouldn’t. Selfish? Possibly but I could never be just “Mum”. However, I have lost my solitude; my alone time and my silent thinking time. I’m guessing I am not alone in this either.

So what do you do? Make more effort to go out alone? Kick the others out now and then? Try and have a bath alone with scented candles? Maybe. I’m not sure but last weekend opened my eyes a bit and I think making some time for some alone time is needed.

What about you? When are you truly alone? And do you want to be?


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  1. January 25, 2016 / 7:01 am

    This is so true. I can’t remember the last time I was actually at home on my own. In a strange way when I think of being alone I think of my days at work, but I’m in a busy environment with many customers and (lovely) colleagues? I think my brain now considers alone to mean “not responsible for any other tiny humans”. Actually alone? Like by myself? Never. Ever. Happens. Not that I’m complaining. Life is much more fun with my tribe. But I hear what you’re saying. Maybe we all need just a little time to think. Great post xx

    Rhyming with wine recently posted…Wayfair UK – Blog it forward…(A rhyme!)My Profile

    • mm
      January 25, 2016 / 7:47 pm

      I’m the same Dawn…crazy eh? I love my time to think x

  2. January 25, 2016 / 7:07 am

    So true. I am lucky to work part time so do get some alone time on Thursday and Friday mornings although most of this is spent cleaning, ironing, shopping etc I think we don’t have enough time just to reflect. Hubby sometimes takes the boys swimming on Sunday morning and I stay home and have me time. I may have to encourage that more
    Catie: An imperfect mum recently posted…Eavesdropping on my kidsMy Profile

    • mm
      January 25, 2016 / 7:46 pm

      haha so you just end up doing chores…bless! I would encourage the swimming time…oh yes x

  3. January 25, 2016 / 7:59 am

    I am a single mummy so its a rare event that I am alone as I find I need a babysitter to have a bath let alone anything else. Though actually, with regards to adults, I am not a huge fan of it and don’t like too much alone time. Though a quick solo trip to tescos is awesome!
    Katie recently posted…You’re Trying to Kill Me…Aren’t you?!My Profile

    • mm
      January 25, 2016 / 7:46 pm

      Hard work for you hun. Yeh sometimes I prefer the company but a bit of time is lush x

  4. January 25, 2016 / 10:22 am

    It’s crazy sometimes isn’t it working out how much time you get by yourself, I’m lucky in that I work from home and have a couple of days a week whilst the kids are at school, but still sometimes I need to escape so I often go for a small run. #MarvMondays

    • mm
      January 25, 2016 / 7:45 pm

      That must be lovely. I don’t want to wish the time away but sometimes a few mins is nicex

  5. January 25, 2016 / 10:48 am

    oh I am someone who craves alone time. My hubby and I both work from home and we get on fab so it’s great, but sometimes I cherish the quiet like when he does the school run, or the are occasion everyone but me is out of the house, although I have 3 kittens and a dog to amuse me lol, so yes I do cherish alone time. #fartglitter
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    • mm
      January 25, 2016 / 7:44 pm

      It’s sooo nice isn’t it? The animals must be so cute to have around x

  6. January 25, 2016 / 10:54 am

    It’s really hard balancing family and work time. I have been lucky enough to become a stay at home Mum now but I still find that I don’t get any alone time. As we don’t have any family nearby it can be tricky, I think perhaps we need to schedule us both getting in alone time as it most definitely needed! #fartglitter
    Emma recently posted…What being a Stay at home Mum means to meMy Profile

    • mm
      January 25, 2016 / 7:43 pm

      I bet you hardly get any! No family nearby must be tricky! Hope you manage to get some time x

  7. January 25, 2016 / 12:09 pm

    I’m never on my own. The only time would be getting my hair done every so many months – I tend to leave it way too long between cuts. I’m never in the house on my own. Never get to the toilet on my own. Yup – never alone lol! #FartGlitter
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    • mm
      January 25, 2016 / 7:43 pm

      Actually I forgot hair too Becky! xx

  8. January 25, 2016 / 12:54 pm

    This is so true. I don’t think I have ever just been alone in my house since becoming a mum. I think I would be a bit spooked if I was totally alone now! If I need some me time I escape to the bath, light some candles and read..or just have a good old think. I hope you find more opportunities to have some more alone time. X #Fartglitter
    wendy recently posted…8 reasons why silence is never golden when you have a toddlerMy Profile

    • mm
      January 25, 2016 / 7:42 pm

      Sounds lush!! x

  9. January 25, 2016 / 8:28 pm

    I genuinely fund it weird when I am on my own in the house for an hour let alone longer…..not that it ever happens that often. Yes it is weird! #marvmondays #farglitter
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  10. January 25, 2016 / 8:34 pm

    This is a really interesting read. I very rarely get any time to myself and yet I often take both kids out for the whole day visiting friends and relatives and never does my partner reciprocate this. Every Sunday I have to sit and mark a set of books and clean the house, and it has to be done among the chaos. If my partner does give me a bit of respite – he will just take one child to the park for an hour. I crave alone time. #fartglitter

    • mm
      January 27, 2016 / 8:39 pm

      That’s the same here really to be fair! My hubby is fab in lots of ways but rarely takes our daughter out alone for long. Alone time is lovely x

      • April 27, 2016 / 1:29 pm

        A bit surripsed it seems to simple and yet useful.

  11. January 25, 2016 / 9:00 pm

    This is so true. I can’t actually remember the last time I was alone. I am always with one of the boys, and if they are out at a grandparents I’m with the hubby. It’s hard for some alone time not having in laws close. #marvmondays xx
    Something Crunchy Mummy recently posted…We All Need A Bit Of PamperingMy Profile

  12. January 25, 2016 / 9:06 pm

    Preschool is a wonderful thing. A few days a week I get a few blessed hours to myself. ( now put down that phone while you’re driving )
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  13. January 26, 2016 / 6:35 am

    I am probably the complete opposite end of the scale from you. I spend large chunks of my week completely alone at home (cats dont count right?) . I am lucky that I do like my own company and am not bothered by being alone (some people find solitude really hard) but occasionally when Mr AD is doing a two day fun at work and I’m coming up to 48hrs without having uttered a single word to anyone, I find being on my own a little too much. Thank the lord for the interweb and the people there. #TwinklyTuesday
    Tracey Abrahams recently posted…A Bit Of Everything Linky – Week 14My Profile

  14. January 26, 2016 / 9:47 am

    I love alone time. My alone time is at the gym. I find if I am home alone I don’t quite settle and cant actually sit down as I potter around more. Hubby and I work full time with little man in nursery so at weekends I have an hour on a Saturday and a sunday just me alone. This destresses me from the weeks work, busy routines and bedtimes etc, and makes me concentrate on proper quality family time throughout the rest of the weekend #twinklytuesday
    Kirsty recently posted…Me, myself & my work spaceMy Profile

  15. January 26, 2016 / 11:08 am

    I get alone time when the youngest is at pre-school, but it’s always filled with activities! Real, proper, alone time…..very, very rare. In fact I caused a bit of a domestic the other week when I insisted my wife take the kids out so I oculd get some alone time to clean the house! #truthabout
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  16. January 26, 2016 / 12:49 pm

    I genuinely really enjoy being alone. Sometimes I think that must be why I am single, as I just really enjoy my own company. Luckily I have a bit of a walk to the train station every morning and evening on my way to work, and that counts as my “alone time.” I really cherish it. #thetruthabout
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  17. January 26, 2016 / 3:03 pm

    I LOVE having an hour or two in the house on my own! It feels so quiet and indulgent and you’re not a mum or a wife…just you. It doesn’t happen to me often either but you’re right, when it does…it’s heaven. If it happened too often though, we wouldn’t like it! xx
    teacuptoria recently posted…“In order to fly one must first clear the shit off one’s wings”.My Profile

  18. January 26, 2016 / 4:33 pm

    Great question Sarah! Back in December I had this one weekend where the Saturday night was my work Christmas do but the husband was working a late shift. My mum offered to have the boys overnight on the friday and all day Saturday and Saturday night. Once the husband went off to work I found myself, for the first time in six years feeling truly alone and I loved it! I pottered around the kitchen, cooking, listening to podcasts and just generally enjoying that decadent idea of being able to choose my own activities. So novel. I had loads of time to glam up ready for the evening out – it was really great. Having said that I am lucky and get every Tuesday child free but not always husband free and it does give me a bit of headspace although inevitably I end up spending most of the day cooking cleaning and doing admin chores. Thanks for linking 🙂 X #thetruthabout
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  19. January 26, 2016 / 8:08 pm

    My mummy makes time to be alone, she needs the space to recover and chill out. Can’t remember the last time she was in the house alone though…. It’s good to get that ‘me’ time. #FartGlitter #TwinklyTuesday x
    Baby Isabella recently posted…Keeping kids amused in IKEAMy Profile

  20. January 26, 2016 / 9:31 pm

    This is so very true! Do you know, at the weekend I nipped across to the shops alone…all by myself and it was so nice! Zach is such a livewire he is always trying to pick up shopping that we don’t need and I never get a chance to just have a look. I popped into a couple of charity shops, went round Sainsburys in peace and really felt alone! It was lovely to just have those few moments where I didn’t have to think about anything other than what was on the shopping list and what a bargain I was getting on my mascara! It is lovely to have those moments…we are aloud to without feeling guilty! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
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  21. January 26, 2016 / 9:56 pm

    Its a good question, and one you rarely think about. I think for me, its probably been quite some time since I last had some alone time. Like you im not a huge lover of my own company and love to surround myself with my family. But since becoming a mum, I do find that I crave some alone time and it very rarely happens. I guess I would like there to be a bit more of a balance to do all the things you just never seem to have any time to do, like think, relax and reflect. I’ll definitely appreciate it more the next time it happens after reading your post :-). Emily #TwinklyTuesday

    • mm
      January 27, 2016 / 8:56 pm

      Totally agree! Hope you get a bit of time soon 🙂 x

  22. January 27, 2016 / 2:33 am

    Almost never home alone either. The Mummy is almost always there. The rare occasions when I am I usually spend napping, which I’m not supposed to do as it keeps me up at night. Oops. Since we moved I have a 20 minute car journey alone which I love. Zipping along singing to my music is pretty lovely.

    Mama, My Kid Doesn’t Poop Rainbows recently posted…The #FartGlitter Linky: Week ThirteenMy Profile

    • mm
      January 27, 2016 / 8:56 pm

      Yeh I do like the singing in the car! It is just nice to be home alone sometimes! x

  23. January 27, 2016 / 2:44 am

    I quite enjoy some alone time to just think about whatever you want, or do whatever you want and only have to please yourself. I think it’s important to have that time, even if it’s only once a week. Although I also like a lot of noise and chaos around me too! #TwinklyTuesday
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  24. January 29, 2016 / 7:35 pm

    The last time I was alone was two weeks ago. Grace was away at her fathers and Ross was out at a gig and I had a lovely evening eating exactly what I wanted for tea, a phonecall with my mum, some blogging and a film. Perfect! #thetruthabout