If I went back 15 years and said I would meet my husband on online I would have never believed it. Back in 2006 when I joined Facebook, if someone said I would be having children with some dude I met on there I would have laughed out loud. It’s funny how some things work out.
I have written in my bio on the blog, that I would write about how Chris and I got together and although some details may get omitted (ahem), I will share the story.
Back in 2006, life was not entirely rosy. I had finished my biology degree at York University and was living in Leeds beginning to train as a dietitian. Not long after I started I split with my first boyfriend, the guy I had been with for 5 years. This was the start of a bit of a messy year and really a year long breakup. I knew we weren’t really happy but didn’t really have the balls to end it properly; nostalgia gets in the way. He was my first everything and losing that is hard. To top it all off my Dad was unwell and I was responsible for him and keeping an eye on his parents. I had to learn a lot and grow up quickly. When I look back at that time, it wasn’t the best. I was one of the younger ones on my course and I felt it. I wasn’t as serious or worried about studying. I still wanted to have fun and I hate to say, kind of just wanted to get by. I probably the most insecure during that time ever and was so glad when it was over and qualified.
So when I was “poked” on Facebook by someone, (I kid not) who was dressed up as an Ooompa Loompa, for some reason I sent a private message to ask why he was poking me. Turns out he knew someone on my course and was randomly poking the girls she was friends with, I’m told the ones he liked the look of. Sounds easy?
This was the start of messaging on Facebook, a lot of messaging. It was my first experience of chatting to someone I thought I would never meet. My first online friendship. The chance to say what I wanted and not really care. I’ll be honest, I didn’t fancy Chris. He came across a bit cocky, liked the girls and I wasn’t interested in that. Both of us were not in the best places, coming out of relationships and innocent chat was the best thing for both of us.
Time passed. We both saw other people. I even got back with my ex around 6 months later. In hindsight, this was the stupidest thing ever but you have to make these mistakes. Everyone around me knew it was the wrong decision. Friends commented I wasn’t myself. I wasn’t happy and now I know, I wasn’t.
My ex went away for 2 months over the summer, something that was pre-planned and it was tough. Not brilliant for a failing relationship. Chris was home for PhD writing up and I was working in a local Harvester, finishing late. Facebook messages, switched to good old MSN messenger and we would chat for hours, eventually moving to texting. There was then that awkward moment when we ummed and errred about meeting up. So with my brother as my bodyguard, hanging around Rugby for a bit to check on me, we met up. And it was fine. Not awkward, in fact really comfortable. I remember thinking this guy has nice biceps but I still think my head was so full with my ex, that nothing else entered my head.
Chris and I saw each other again and went out in Rugby for food and a few drinks. We just had such a good time and nothing happened. My Mum (I cannot believe) let him stay over on an air bed. Someone she had never met. I think it was because she had joined in some of the MSN chat some evenings or maybe she just had a sixth sense. I’ll never know but it was very out of character for her.
My ex returned and instead of things being great, they weren’t. I felt very insecure. He didn’t like like my friendship with Chris and there was a lot of arguing. A LOT. A lot fuelled by alcohol and too much time spent drinking; something I was starting to feel uncomfortable with. I was never a big drinker and I didn’t want a relationship based on booze.
Chris asked me to come and see him and I knew, my family knew, that this was probably the path to the end with my ex. When I look back and think nothing was going to happen?! How naive and stupid was I? I feel ashamed in a way that there was crossover, of course. I was sorry. I never saw myself as someone who could cheat. However, I know my first relationship was dead in the water and had been for a year. My ex had hurt me a lot in those 12 months too. But I was younger and some things are meant to be and just work out.
And they did. It’s 12 years in November since Chris and I started talking. I was a little baby at 22. Eleven years in October since we got together and 6 years in September since we got married. We have two beautiful girls and although relationships change when you have kids, I know we are still as tight as when we first got together. Love, friendship, sharing, humour and having someone who truly understands you is what true love is for me.
So Facebook, you have a lot to answer for really and I have a lot to thank you for.