After I had all of my babies, I was shell-shocked, especially my first. I was exhausted, in pain, hormonal and in a bit of shock. How can this tiny creature I have produced need feeding so much and take up so much of my time? But they do. I needed my husband a lot in those early days. A lot. I needed a lot of help after birth and I’m so glad I had my husband and also extended family.
The fourth trimester can be rough. You are bonding with your newborn. Recovering from childbirth, getting used to sleep deprivation and a huge change to your life. It’s lovely but exhausting but sometimes I wish someone had told me, I wouldn’t enjoy it all!!
As I said though my husband was amazing and helped me so much during this time and here are some tips for you if you really want to help after birth.
Help After Birth
– Bring food and snacks. I was absolutely starving after labour and childbirth and this lasted for a couple of weeks. As I was breastfeeding loads, it meant I was chained to the sofa loads and my husband and Mum would bring me fruit and scones and snacks. Really helped! My husband even made me berry smoothies with protein, which were amazing.
– Bring drinks especially if breastfeeding. As above really but make sure you bring lots of drinks. Every time I sat down, I was brought a pint glass of fluid. You really do get thirsty.
– Tidy up and do the things your partner can’t do. It depends on how you live and can cope. I like a tidy house, as I feel better. I can let it get a little cluttered but after a while this bothers me. Help with tidying and cleaning is amazing when you just don’t have the time or inclination.
– Let your partner sleep. Take the baby. I always joke with my husband on the morning after our second daughter was born, I got up with our eldest after 3 hours sleep and childbirth the day before, whilst he stayed in bed with the baby who slept until 8am! But this was a one off. If you’ve been up all night feeding, that extra bit of sleep really helps.
– Change nappies. I have to say I barely changed my newborn’s nappies in the early days, until my husband went back to work. He did so many and got up in the night. This was great, army babies tended to feed and poop!
– Get up in the night. Company is everything. My husband has always been good waking. Apart from the little man who I co-slept with for 6 months, my husband usually got up with the girls to change their nappies, before handing them to me to feed. He did come and keep me company if we were having a particularly bad night!
– Keep an eye out for post natal depression or any mental health issues. Sometimes these are hard to spot in yourself but others can see it. Keep a check on your partner’s mental health. Check they are sleeping (when they can) and eating. There is a lot of support but it does need flagging up.
– If there are siblings, take care of them. Get up with them, even if just for the early days. This is always so helpful when having your second baby and beyond! Get up in the morning. Take them off out for a few hours. Anything. These kids of course need love and normality, so keeping things as normal as possible is good for everyone.
– Be there to wipe the tears away when you have they crying day. Hugs. Support. Chocolates. Somedays are tough. Somedays we don’t want to be a Mummy. We want a break and just a rest!
– Take lots of photos. I know we look like crap but we will want to look back and remember those early days! So will our kids!
The early days after child birth are crazy. A whirl wind. Sometimes I feel I can’t remember it all, as my kids get bigger, the memories fade even more.
But I do remember how amazing my husband was in those days and how supportive he was and I hope this post gives you some ideas, if your partner is expecting a baby!