Disclosure – this is a collaborative post.
Talking to your children about separation from your partner or spouse is never easy, regardless of how old they are. This is a significant challenge in both their lives and yours, and navigating this time will not always be easy, no matter what reason you’re separating.
As a parent, not only will you be hurting for the breakdown of your relationship but for the implication this has on the life of your children and their emotional well-being moving forward.
These tips can help you discuss what is happening and what the future looks like and help your children come to terms with this massive change and upheaval in their lives.
Get Expert Advice
Navigating child custody isn’t always straightforward or easy. Before discussing with your children, it can be a good idea to seek legal advice and support from a family lawyer on what happens next from a legal standpoint so you have the right information to hand. This can help you ascertain rights laws regarding child custody, visitation rights, child support payments, and how to put a suitable arrangement in place that works for both the adults and the children.
Time it Carefully
As a parent, you know your children best. You understand their behaviours, lifestyle, and habits. Therefore, it’s crucial to choose the right time to discuss the separation. You want to catch them at a time when they are calm enough to listen or understand and not already upset or preoccupied by something else. While there won’t always be a perfect time, finding the right time and place to have the discussion or broach the topic will show your thoughtfulness and consideration for their feelings.
Stay Calm
Remember, your family will be relying on you for support once you break the news. Therefore, it’s crucial to remain calm, help them process what you are going through, and give them the love and reassurance they might need at this time. By avoiding a breakdown when you are upset or frustrated, you can maintain a sense of control and ensure a more positive environment for everyone involved.
Choose Your Words Carefully
What you say and how you express the changes affecting your life, as you know, will play a huge part in how your child processes the information and how they remember it. You want to use age-appropriate language to help them understand and keep it simple. If you have older children, you can elaborate as they ask questions if they have any, but keeping it short and to the point using simple language will work best. Avoid using negative associations, name-calling or blaming. It’s best not to involve your child in any bitterness towards the other parent.
Show Support and Love
As a parent, you will be used to putting your child’s needs before your own, and at this difficult time, it’s important to remember that they, too, will be hurting and will need extra care and attention. Don’t push their pain aside for your own emotional needs, and find a way to work through this with them by offering love and support when they need it.
Disclosure – this is a collaborative post.