When’s the right time to have another baby?

When’s the right time to have another baby?
When is the right time to have another baby ? There is no definite answer. Well that was easy. Post over.
when is the right time to have another baby
No jesting aside this is question that I think I talk about several times a week! I have never come up with the right answer, just something that is right for my hubby and I. Our gremlin has just hit 18 months. My work colleague winked at me and said she was already pregnant with her second at this time and one of my antenatal group is too, with others trying I’m sure.
 I can see why as well. The broodiness has started to sweep over me a little, like my little one tugging at my hair. There’s a little nag in the back of my mind. One of my other blogging friends Helen keeps posting amazing pics and bump updates and I’m a teeny bit jealous.Having little ones close in age would be nice for closeness in the future I can imagine.

There is another reason I am hearing lots and lots too, “we just want to get the hard bit over”. This one I’m not sure I agree with. It is flipping hard of course but I can’t say I want another quickly for that reason. And whenever you do it, it’s going to be hard!! I really admire mums who have two little ones in close age but I have to say it’s not for me.

 My little monster is at such a lovely age at the moment. She’s funny, naughty and her speaking is fantastic. I’m enjoying chatting to her, spending time with her…just her. Reading, jigsaws, drawing, soft play, hide and seek, you name it. I don’t want her to have to share me just yet. She’s starting to get a bit more independent; feeding herself and we are thinking of getting the potty down soon. I want that all done and dusted before baby no 2 appears. Having nappies x 2 or lots of accidents at the same time? I don’t think so. Someone said to me once it’s so much easier when they can climb out of the car by themselves too, whilst you are lifting in another. My gremlin is also in a bit of a funk with her sleeping at the moment too and throwing another into the mix now; I’d be a wreck!

I don’t think the worry of sibling rivalry is bothering me too much. You could have this with any age gap. I told my Dad quite clearly at 3 years old to send my poor brother back. Some good imagery there eh? I just know if I placed a baby sibling in front of my gremlin right now there would be some fun. She already starts to misbehave if I’m on the phone, yells if I’m cuddling her Daddy or another baby, so I think a little while longer may help. I’m hoping the older she is, the more involved she can be. She’s already my little helper when it comes to cleaning so I’ve got fingers crossed that bathing, changing and dressing a new baby she can help with. I think a lot of people tend to do what happened in their family. There’s 3 years between my brother and me and 4 years with hubby and his brother.

 Rather selfishly too I don’t want to put my body through that again just yet. Last time I was pregnant I had a knee injury and had resigned myself to the fact that I couldn’t do too much. Now I’m really back into my exercise and having to slow right down again would be really hard! I’m getting my fitness back and muscle strength in my leg and not ready to stop just yet.
So I’m going to wait a while longer and aim for a 3 year plus age gap. I’m enjoying life with the family at the moment. The routine, time we get with her and alone works for hubby and I. It took me a couple of months to settle down at work and I’m now really enjoying it! I need a bit more time to sink my teeth in before disappearing again. Plus I think my work colleague would lynch me if I announced my impending maternity leave right now.

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16 Comments

  1. March 17, 2015 / 7:06 am

    A question in finding myself faced with too having an almost-15 month old and I agree with everything you said. I know I'm just not ready for number 2 yet, I'm quite happy to get A sorted and out of nappies before even considering it! Everyone says they'll get on better with a closer age gap but my cousins are 10 years apart and closer than any others I know! (not that I'll be waiting that long).. Kaye | helloarchie.blue

    #TwinklyTuesday

  2. Big Trouble in Little Nappies
    March 17, 2015 / 7:20 am

    There seem to be pros and cons to both a big and small age gap so I think all anyone can do is what feels right for them and of course what nature/science/our bodies allow as not everyone can get pregnant easily. We would have had a small gap of just under 2 years but sadly things weren't meant to be, so for now, like you I am just enjoying my little one in his toddler stage and seeing what the future holds. That's a good point about nappies and getting out of the car though! #twinklytuesdays

  3. Talya Stone
    March 17, 2015 / 9:07 am

    I am so there with you! I don't know why there is such pressure to knock them out one after the other. I agree – enjoy the one you have while you can, and don't be in a rush to knock out that second. I mean two toddlers? That's just scary in my book haha #twinklytuesday

    https://motherhoodtherealdeal.wordpress.com/

  4. March 17, 2015 / 9:47 am

    Sorry hehe 🙂 shall I put you off a bit when she arrives about sleepless nights and crazy toddler antics too 😉 as you know I had so many thoughts the same as you and I'm hoping that this age gap will be ok, time will tell. I can't wait for you to have another little'un though 😀 xx

  5. March 17, 2015 / 3:37 pm

    I have also been pondering another baby. I fall squarely in the "get the hard part over" camp. The sooner we have one, the sooner they will all be out of the toddler stage and act more like respectable humans! LOL I also get not wanting to have 2 in diapers and not feeling quite ready to make the older child share their mom! Such a hard decision!

    #thetruthabout

  6. March 17, 2015 / 6:45 pm

    Your opener made me laugh. Maybe I should start and finish all my posts like that. Think how much more content I'd have time to put on my blog!

    #thetruthabout

  7. March 17, 2015 / 8:40 pm

    Great post – the right time to have another is if and when it feels right for you. There are 25 months between my two which now feels like a good age gap but was hard work in the early months. Love the photos of your little gremlin and that one-to-one time is so precious – I do miss being able to have that focus on just one child sometimes.

  8. March 17, 2015 / 10:12 pm

    Completely agree that it's entirely a personal choice. Our three are each about two years apart which ha worked out well for us in terms of the fact they get on remarkably well together and do a lot of things as twos or threes, but at the same time it's meant that we've had several years of full on high-maintenance parenting which has taken a physical toll as much as anything. We wouldn't have had it any other way – but other people think we're mad. Each to their own, I say. It's not like there's a guaranteed formula for when the 'right' time is, is there?

  9. March 18, 2015 / 9:03 pm

    I completely understand the question. It´s such a personal thing… I am questioning myself when should be the right time too. Not only to my little one´s benefit (who is too attached to me, and acts the same as your little gremlin 😉 ), but for us a couple, we have to get some time to enjoy as a couple too, after all the ´happy mess´ that a baby causes! And we also have to pounder financial constraints… But I have to say that even with all that, I wouldn´t mind another pregnancy now… It´s the heart vs the mind thing…. 🙂
    #PoCoLo (FB)

  10. March 21, 2015 / 8:29 am

    I've got a 4 year and 10 year age gap and to be honest, wish I hadn't left it so long, my youngest will grow up without a playmate once he's a little older. It has been incredibly easy though as I always have an extra pair of hands!

  11. March 21, 2015 / 5:07 pm

    I'm not sure there is a perfect gap. My eldest is 8 then I have a 21 month gap between her and my second then a five year gap between him and the third and then just 14 months between 3 and 4 – it is what works best for you really. Every age can be a challenge and you find ways of dealing with any issues you encounter – having said that I would love to be an octopus lol #bigfatlinky

  12. Odd Socks and Lollipops
    March 21, 2015 / 9:42 pm

    Oh I wish we had a magical answer for this, I am currently wondering all of these things, along with the question… do I want baby number 2… my head hurts from all the thinking!

  13. March 22, 2015 / 7:48 pm

    Such a difficult decision isn't it? I had my second when my first was 23 months. For us, it was TOTALLY the right decision. My youngest is 10 months old now and it has been tough, I'm not going to deny it at all. But seeing the two of them together just makes all the difficulties so worthwhile. They are the best of friends, they adore each other and look out for each other. I never had a sibling that was close to me in age and I'm actually really envious of the relationship my two little ones have, they couldn't be happier together. I do appreciate it's not for everyone though and I'm sure you will know when you're ready for your next one, it's not a decision to rush into at all.x

  14. Joanna McCaffrey
    March 22, 2015 / 10:10 pm

    I think it is a very personal decision and one that no one can answer for you.
    I was born when my sister was 14 months and I can say that I would've been ready to have another by that stage. My toddler is 19 months now and I'd love to be pregnant again, but things are proving a little harder with the second one.
    I'd definitely say not to rush if you don't feel ready for it xx
    #bigfatlinky

  15. March 23, 2015 / 10:10 am

    Lovely post! Neither of my boys were planned but I love that they only have 2.5 years difference! They are close and act like friends but also old enough to enjoy their own space. That being said I don't think there's a perfect time or age gap. When a family is happy and loving then there will always be a close bond. A rushed scenario can sometimes put a lot of unnecessary pressure on everyone just go for when you're ready and it'll all fall into place. Thanks for linking up with us on the #bigfatlinky

  16. March 25, 2015 / 2:08 pm

    I have two daughters aged 5 and 3 and at the moment I could never have another one right now. Neither of my girls were planned but I wouldn't change them for the world. They've made my life better. They only had 2 years and 3 months difference between them, its hard but so worth it! I would love to plan another one once my youngest is in full time school Sept 2016! #bigfatlinky