Mother’s Day has once again passed us by. For some it looked like a lovely day. Treats, cards and time with the family. However, I did see a lot of very unhappy Mums who were not treated. Partners didn’t do anything for them. Some children didn’t seem to know it was Mother’s Day and it was treated just like any other day. I really felt for these ladies. It’s one day a year to feel special as a Mother and for it to be forgotten is just rubbish basically and wanted to dish out some advice.
It made me think about the advice us ladies would love to give our partners prior to having a baby. Advice for what we want after the baby is born to help us out or just to make us feel good.
A lot of us now obviously have hindsight to draw upon but I decided to ask a group of bloggers what they would tell their partners to do.
Mine is obviously remember Mother’s Day, get the kids involved and at least buy a flipping card!
Some other gems include:
“A shower can change everything. Let her shower. Even if she wants to shower loads, just let her get on with it. Post partum feels yucky and the shower was my happy place in those early days. And make coffee!” Laura from Mama, Eden and Me.
“Please take photos of your partner and her children without being asked. Ones of them having a cuddle, breastfeeding or playing together. Too often mums are the ones behind the camera, and as such, those precious natural moments between mum and her children aren’t ever captured on film. She may think she looks tired and fat at the time, but when she’s old and grey she will cherish those photos (and so will the children!)” Lucy from Real Mum Reviews.
“I would say to give each other a hug every day and tell her that she’s an amazing mum, even if she won’t believe you.” Clare from Mumsy Midwife.
“Homemade means so much more than shop bought. My ex used to get my son buying expensive gifts but I much prefer a drawing! And know the signs of post natal depression she may not realise it but may need support and to see her GP.” Jen from Just Average Jen.
A male perspective too – “If she’s not breastfeeding do the night feeds. I did every one with both my kids. Gave me time to bond and her time to rest. Giving her more energy to deal with siblings who are more needy during the day.” Alan from OMG it’s a Girl.
“Let her sleep and take over!! Us mums need sleep after (most likely) long labours and just feeling like crap!” Jenna from Then There Were Three.
“I would have liked a little more help with my second Kai. Hubby, Dan was great with Max but I felt left me to get on with it with the new baby.” Kristine from Max and Kai.
“Acknowledge how hard it is for her. My husband would often say what can I do all day when I’m at work? But just for him to acknowledge what I was going through at home with three under three and an older child to care for, I really needed that acknowledgment.” Laura from Five Little Doves.
“Book in a night away for them. Nothing fancy, just pack them off to their mum’s or their best friend’s for the night. I went to some really dark places in those first few sleep-deprived months and a night away to relax, giggle, get some perspective and have a glass or 6 lol really did me the power of good. Becoming a mum is an earth-shattering game-changer. Having the odd night to remind yourself that you’re still ‘you’ is so important…” Siobhan from Pass the Wine Please.
“Bring wine, coffee and chocolate!! It’s the little things that count!” Helen from All the Beautiful Things.
“Cook her dinner, hoover or do the food shop. Basically, do anything useful without having to be asked. Oh and tell her what a good job she’s doing. It’s easy to forget when you’re in the middle of mass-sleep deprivation and feeling like a state but it can literally make her day!” Hayley from Devon Mama.
“My husband used to make me lunch everyday and would leave it in the fridge before he went to work. With my first I would often forget to eat or struggle to make more than a packet of crisps so this was a godsend 😂
With my second I was determined breastfeeding would be easier – he totally got on board with ‘contented calf’ cooking (it’s a recipe book) and fed me so much porridge I could’ve burst – but actually it was exactly the support I needed because he listened to what I wanted!” Laura from Edinburgh with Kids.
“Google “what to say, and what not to say, to your PND wife” – I love my husband for doing this. He could never fully understand what I was suffering through, but he tried, and that means the world to me.” Jessica from That Mummy Blog.
“Take the kids to do some painted pottery with their little hands and footprints on them as a gift for Mama. You never see dads in those studios but I’m certain the mums would love to receive something so personal from their kids!” Hollie from Thrifty Mum.
“Don’t complain that you’re tired from being up for (insert hours of labour here)! It’s not a competition!” Amy from The Smallest of Things.
“Be prepared that your relationship will change. Whether it be struggling to accept he’s no longer number one or coming to terms with the fact that even the little things you took for granted together are probably going to be put on hold for a while. On our first night home with baby my hubby asked if I wanted to watch a film, I think we are still waiting to watch that film 11 months on!!” Kathryn from Mummy’s Little Lists.
“Don’t ask silly questions all the time! My husband used to (and still does after 10 months!) ask things like, ‘is she supposed to be doing that?’ It only serves to make her feel like a bad mother for not knowing; she hasn’t read the manual that came with the baby either!” Julie from Pondering Parenthood.
Being a Mum is a tough job and in the early days we need a lot of help and there are things that are so important to us as time passes too.
So if you are about to embark on the biggest journey of your life that is parenthood these tips may help!!
Can you think of anymore?