Disclosure – this is a collaborative post.
While out there looking for a potential date, you will meet different kinds of people. You may meet that one person who you feel is a good match and is a date. But should you go on to date them if they have a child or several children?
The scenario of dating people with kids is becoming a common one nowadays and yours may be one of the many. However, if you find yourself in such a situation, how can you tell if it will work for you? Would you manage the requirements of this type of relationship?
Below are some things to think about to help you discover yourself and to know if you are mature to the extent that you can date someone with kids.
It has unique requirements
You need first to get it in your mind that dating and even settling down with someone with children is okay. The fact that they have kids does not mean they cannot love and be loved back. They may end up being some of the most amazing partners and you build a lasting relationship and even a happy marriage. However, dating this category of people has some unique requirements and challenges, but it is possible.
Understand your limits
It is critical from the onset that you understand your limits and how much you can do, especially if you have a weakness of not wanting to turn down requests. You should not feel obliged to always part with something or do a task every time you are asked to. Assuming that your lines of communication are open, your partner will let you know when they need help. You will have to assess all things, and if you cannot come through for them or are uncomfortable doing what they requested, you should express it. The other party will understand and appreciate your honesty while you will save yourself from taking up more than you can manage.
While still on the topic of dating partners with kids, you need to define to yourself what your goal for the dating is. After having identified your purpose for dating, you can check out reliable resources that can help you to get friends with benefits or relationship, as your need could be, with high chances of success.
Appreciate the absent parent’s role
When you choose to date someone with kids, you should keep in mind that there is the other parent to those kids who has some role in their lives. That parent is entitled to know the people close to the children by the connection of their separated partners. You may meet that other parent, say if they are meeting the kids, and you should act maturely and courteously. If they are not on speaking terms, you may hear your partner mention them now and then and you should tolerate this.
Allow the kids enough time to accept you
When it comes to dealing with your partner’s kids, things may be tough and tricky. If it were up to them, the children would want their parents reconciling and getting back together so they will have difficulty allowing you into their lives. You must understand their sentiments and win their trust gradually. You have to avoid making unkind remarks about the other parent to the kids even when your partner prompts it. That way, they can trust you and see you as someone who can protect them. With time and putting in some effort, you will also understand them and have a bond with them.
While dating in normal circumstances is hard, dating someone with kids is harder but worth the effort if you choose to give yourself to it. Besides the above things, you also need to appreciate that a partner with kids could have their plans changed at the last minute or could have been caught up in more crazy stuff. As such, you have to understand when they cancel a meeting or take a long time to respond to your messages or to pick up calls. With excellent communication and understanding, you can have a great relationship and even a happy marriage with a partner with children.
Disclosure – this is a collaborative post.
