I have two girls as you well may know if you read my blog. It was always decided that we would leave 3 years between having babies if nature allowed it. Obviously you can plan all you want but it doesn’t always go your way.
I often think we tend to do as we did as children or we often mimic what our parents did. There are 3 years between me and my brother and for hubby and his, there are almost 4.
There are loads of pros and cons for small age gaps and longer ones and this post is not in anyway saying what is right or wrong. I also know we don’t have the luxury of choice. Surprises, parental ages and finances can make a massive difference to when and if another baby comes along. I know some people relish a small age gap and it works for them.
But these are the reasons why it has worked for us and I do think 3 years is a good age gap.
– My eldest was potty trained. I really didn’t want two in nappies if I could help it. Nor did I want to be potty training when another one came along. Anything to have a little less work!
– I could prepare my eldest quite well for the arrival of her sister. As she Was that little bit older I could explain what was happening and a bit more about what was going to happen with me in childbirth. Of course we have had her being totally rough with her baby sister and a bit jealous now and then but overall she was fine.
-My eldest had her 15 free hours come in just before my baby girl was born. This was brilliant as I could keep her in nursery two days a week and with the majority of it paid for. This allowed me to spend two days a week, snuggling and chilling with the baby. I really think this is needed, as life is so full on with a toddler too.
– Three years with a child before another comes along gives them so much time. I think a smaller toddler needs you a lot. Playing, cuddles and they are a lot more dependent on you. I wouldn’t have wanted her to have had to share that time with a newborn and a very tired Mum.
– My body had recovered. I’m a firm believer it takes a good year to be back to normal after a baby. I wanted some time, as myself before going again. Exercising, going out and keeping my figure! Leaving it until the gremlin was over 2, gave me that time.
So what do you think? A shorter age gap or like us, leaving it a few years.
Would love to know!
I would say three years is perfect. We had a four year age gap and I think that’s possibly a shade too much. The eldest and youngest simply don’t share the same interests and then things get awkward. Of oucrse things get mega interesting when you have one child at school and one that isn’t.
We have 2.25 years between our boys and it works well for us. It wasn’t planned that way – the first baby took 18 months of trying to make, and we expected similar second time around, but he was in much more of a rush 🙂