I’m not going to lie, I sometimes feel when I am pregnant (more than normal) that I want to murder my husband. I see the red mist a lot more. I manage to control myself a lot more around the girls or simply just walk away but with hubby? It’s trickier.
I’m usually pretty honest with you on this blog; it wouldn’t be real otherwise would it?
Hubby and I have had a rough week. I went away with work and came back to things, lets say, not to my standards and I was cross. Partly reasonably (trust me I asked my Mum, who is usually pretty honest and will stick up for the old ball and chain if needs be) and of course partly unreasonably, as my hormones and reactions are mental.
Daft things. The gremlin hadn’t cleaned her teeth one night. She had barely done any reading in the two nights I was away. Hubby forgot to hide the Elf box and the gremlin found it, the list goes on. Normally I’d have been a little annoyed but by the end of the weekend, with a tantrumming Piglet, an inactive baby and coming back from the gym to find the eldest had been allowed three advent catch up chocolates before 8.30am on Monday, I blew and I was very upset.
Tiredness has a lot to play in this but it’s a long time that I cried so much I couldn’t stop. That I admitted I was really unhappy with how the other half had handled a few things, how things were in general and I knew it had been a bad few days. I had to cancel my whooping cough vaccination, as was in such a state. He was taken aback. I don’t cry that much and he described me as a “happy person” normally. Thing is I knew I was feeling very unhappy, with an awful lot to do before Christmas and a baby!!
This pregnancy has been tougher but I expected this after speaking with others. Running around after two girls, work, school runs and homework, keeping fit, a house and blog to run….the list feels endless. I find it very hard to chill and stop, especially when it’s just Piglet and I, as I like to do things with her and usually Wednesday is my jobs day. Hubby is probably bottom of the pile when we are both so busy. With Christmas on the way, life feels even more hectic!
Hubby and I can usually get around things when it’s feeling tough and the few things I have learnt to survive pregnancy when you are constantly seeing the red mist, include:
– Ask for help. This kind of frustrates the hell out of me but I know I will not get help and relaxation off my hubby if I do not ask. He will give me time but he will let me carry on as normal until I ask him, so bear this in mind. Men need a push sometimes to see you may be at breaking point!
– Be specific about what you want doing. Again drives me mad but hey! If the bedroom is a shithole, I usually have to spell out what needs doing to sort it. I have to provide some form of solution if I have an issue and this usually means it gets sorted.
– Get some time for yourself. You are growing a life and sometimes I do feel guilty when hubby is putting the girls to bed most nights and sounds like he is losing his mind. I’m usually blogging and working by this point but some nights I reckon I should be chilling!
– Talk to each other! Usually our rows tend to come after some simmering. The hard part is the kids are always around and I feel very guilty when we end up bickering in earshot of my eldest. Try to talk and sort out any issues when the kids are not around.
– Spell out when you are feeling in an awful mood. I’ve hated how I have felt some days; like those two days before your period starts. Somewhere between full on rage and tears over anything and usually horrible heavy eyes and tiredness. I find it easier when I tell hubby I feel like that and if the girls start playing up, he can take over so I don’t shout at them. This does work the best.
Pregnancy is almost an inhuman time sometimes. You do feel slightly out of your mind, out of control and very up and down. Things are going to annoy you more and people are going to annoy you more but the trick is to try and work around it.
Well I don’t want a life sentence for murder do I?
Wowzers, well, interesting to read this from a pregnant woman’s perspective. Just glad I never wound Mrs Adams up to this degree! that said, with baby two we bickered a lot because she was so tired all the time. Can’t have been easy for her.