Disclosure – this is a collaborative post.
Planning for your parent’s old age isn’t easy. Nobody wants to think about what they’ll do when our parents can no longer properly look after themselves but sometimes, the decision is needed. Health problems can lead mean they will be safer and better cared for in a home than they would be if they stayed in their own home. If you aren’t able to care for them yourself, a retirement community is often the best option. Unfortunately, your parents might not see things the same way and fear that moving somewhere like this will rob them of their independence or their dignity. Here’s how you can help persuade them its time for a retirement home.
Listen To Their Concerns
Don’t make their decision for them, and instead, make sure that you’re discussing things with them and listening to any concerns they may have. Your parents probably know if their ability to manage their own home has dwindled, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have concerns about leaving it. They may worry about maintaining their privacy, dignity, and sense of independence. They might be upset at the thought of not being able to bring all their furniture with them. Take the time to listen and talk through these worries, and use them to form questions to ask when you look at different retirement communities, to help your parents get the answers they need. If this is the case, make sure they know that you will take the lead on these more difficult parts of the move, such as deep cleaning and hiring professional movers to make the process easier.
Plan For Problems
What will you do if they move in and don’t like it? Have a backup in place. If this does happen, you need to decipher what the problem actually is and what will fix it. Do they just need more time to settle in, or is there an actual problem with the retirement village? You might be able to just settle them better by encouraging them to meet people and join activities in the home, or you may need the other extreme and need the number of a lawyer for nursing home psychological neglect.
Take On The Difficult Parts
A common reason for resisting a move to a retirement home is that your parents may be stressed at the idea of trying to clear out and sell their current house. If this is the case, make sure they know that you will take the lead on these more difficult parts of the move. When it comes time to clear out the house, keep your parents involved, so they don’t feel you’re deciding what they can and can’t keep. Make sure anything special is taken to the retirement property so they don’t miss any family treasures. Is there anything they can’t take but want to be saved, such as a large sideboard they plan to gift to a grandchild? Arrange storage for these items or gift them to someone in the family. Discuss what will be done with the money from the sale of the house. Will this pay for the retirement home, or put into savings? Make these big decisions and handle the tricky parts yourself to ease your parents’ stress.
Disclosure – this is a collaborative post.
