Disclosure – this is a collaborative post.
Of all the stresses you can go through after you have children, from finding childcare to even making ends meet because of the exorbitant expenses, you might be forgiven for thinking that it’s a little bit foolish to get married after having children. After all, there are so many different pressures flying around, you don’t want to add the stress of planning a full-scale wedding into the mix? Well, it seems that now, after that law came out, people are finding themselves quickly rushing to the altar to ensure that they provide a legal unit for the sake of their children. But does this mean that the big day needs to be a rush job? Let’s see how you can get married after having children and still make it a day to remember.
Having A Long Engagement
Sometimes it’s only natural to have a long engagement, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy it. Even if you thought about getting married, your significant other can still get down on one knee and give you a ring worth shouting about. There are so many engagement rings with intricate attention to detail, rather than something that’s been picked up quickly purely so you can be engaged “for the sake of it.” Enjoy the engagement and see how it makes you feel. But at the same time, if the goal is to get married soon-ish, be sure to take steps in the right direction. At the very least, start planning the big day and see how you both picture it.
Is It Worth Waiting Until The Children Are A Little Bit Older?
Age is a major factor. Because after all, if you have a 6-month old, and there’s talk of wedding bells and the like, are you feasibly going to get around to planning a big wedding when making a meal is one of life’s great challenges at this point? It’s important to get to the point where, at the very least, your child goes down for a nap by themselves for an hour. Because if you are drowning in nappies, muslin cloths, and everything is that big pressure cooker, are you not making a rod for your own back? But if you can get to the point where the children are old enough so that you can leave them for an hour, or at the very least, have the opportunity to do some planning, or make those phone calls, then you will get a lot more done. As well as this, having childcare arranged can take that pressure off you. At the very least, wait until you get into a structure, especially if the children are quite young now.
Remember To Talk!
It can feel like you and your partner like passing ships in the night, especially if one is getting up with the child while the other one sleeps. In this case, is it worth setting aside one hour every day to do some wedding admin? If it’s got to the point where things are booked, you’ve got no choice but to start getting things ready. But if there is one partner that’s a compulsive list maker, and the other one is more than happy to go with the flow, this could cause problems? It doesn’t seem like it on the surface, but it’s about both of you having equal input. As there are parental duties adding fuel to the fire as well, it could be so easy for one parent to remain passive while the other one does everything. This doesn’t work for either side. As such, remembering to both talk about things, so you’re on the same page, even if it’s a little bit late and the children have gone to sleep, you will both at least know you are working towards a common goal. Wedding planning is stressful for anyone. Sometimes, when people have kids, we find it easier to do a small scale ceremony. This is a very suitable option, financially speaking, but if you want something a bit bigger, don’t feel like you’ve got to take it all on yourself. Remember to ask for help, especially if it’s just the two of you doing it yourselves.
Getting married after having children is feasible, but it’s about remembering why you’re doing it in the first place. A lot of parents don’t do it because they can’t afford to, but if you still want that family unit, and you need to be legally together, it is something that you can completely do, but remember there are those pressures that come with having children.
Disclosure – this is a Collaborative post.