It’s hard to believe I’m writing another birthday post for you my darling. I’m sure one day you will look back at these posts and cringe but I always want you to know how much I love you and that I’m so proud of you everyday.
Eight years ago, you made me a Mummy; something I wasn’t even sure I really liked at first! I still and always will feel I am learning with you, as you will always be the one to hit the ages and milestones first. I remember stumbling blindly through those early days, worrying I wouldn’t fully bond with you. I wasn’t sure I wanted to breastfeed. I wasn’t sure I wanted my entire life to change but it did and once I got over the initial shock, my love for you has always been hard to even quantify.
You have had another crazy and disrupted year. I remember writing this post last year, 4 months into the pandemic, where we were lucky enough to eat out and have your friend over before chaos enveloped us all again. You’ve taken it all in your stride, coped with my awful lockdown school and gone to school when I worked. So many winter weekends at home but I think you and your sister and brother got closer over the time, so there is always a silver lining to everything.
You are always described by many as so positive and mature, kind and friendly. These things make me so proud. I know you would rather do anything than homework and study and your room is always by far the messiest in the house! You are the polar opposite to me as a child and at school but I’m learning that you aren’t me. You are you and that’s ok. You’ll find your way, whatever it is.
You are similar to me in many positive ways though; friendly and chatty, pretty bubbly and usually very positive but I know you’ve taken on my anxious side now and then, especially anything body or health-related. It’s hard to see and I’m slowly working out how to deal with it and keep you feeling safe, despite your worries.
I’m loving the little girl you have become and lapping up all the time you want to spend with me. Shopping, walks, cuppas together, daft selfies and you just talking my ear off. I know it won’t last forever and I know when I’m exhausted at the end of the day, just wanting some time for myself, I need to listen to you. You are completely ridiculous at times, with a crazy sense of humour and make me laugh a lot. I love spending time with you and you wanting me to share everything with you.
It won’t be long before you are the one telling me about what to watch on TV, showing me all the silly apps I need to download and telling me what to wear!!
Time is flying. Time is precious and I know you are growing up so fast.
Happy birthday darling. I love you to the moon and back and you will always be my beautiful first born, however old you are.