I’ll admit it. I’m a shouty Mum.
Only now and then but you know what Mums out there? If you are too, DON’T feel guilty. It is needed sometimes.
I see a lot of posts in some of my Mum support groups about terrible guilt when they feel they have had a shouty day. I really feel for the ladies. Don’t get get me wrong I feel horrible too. Watching my little girl’s face and often the shame or embarrassment she has when she knows she has done something wrong. Even worse are the floods of tears, which depending on her mood, can last for a loooong time.
Despite this, I still think a good bollocking is what is needed for my eldest daughter sometimes. I don’t mean be a shouty Mum everyday of the week but when my daughter is going through a phase of new bad behaviour, it is totally warranted. The behaviour needs to be nipped in the bud before it gets out of hand.
I feel too often we are bombarded with a lot of information on social media that suggests the soft approach is best; shouting doesn’t work; it is too upsetting; it will affect them blah blah. I simply don’t agree with this.
Although I am a sample size of 1, I had complete and utter respect for my Mum from a very early age and my Nan? The respect was even greater. This came from being put in my place from a very young age and now and then getting shouted at. It worked. I wasn’t scarred or afraid. I just knew my boundaries. I think I effed directly at my Mum once in my teens and trust me, I never did it again.
The gremlin started with a horrible behaviour not long after Piglet was born. She would either completely ignore us or scream No in our faces when asked to do something. ANYTHING. Of course we gave her the benefit of the change of a new sibling for a little while. It’s a massive change having and of course we expected some changes in her behaviour. We kept calm with her, spoke calmly and didn’t yell, as we didn’t want to upset her too soon.
Until one night.
After the gremlin kicked a load of mats from one of our tables, refused to go up for her bath or to put the mats back, I calmly put Piglet down on the sofa and half carried the gremlin upstairs to give her one of the biggest nailings of her life.
I hated doing it. I told her we were so disappointed and her behaviour was completed unacceptable. I shouted. I shouted HARD. She was shocked and she didn’t expect it. I rarely lose it. She was upset; she cried and we of course, made up and were sorted before she fell asleep.
But do you know what? Her behaviour changed immediately. She even stopped herself mid yell at me on another day and said sorry, as she just knew.
I know this will not work for all kids. The gremlin is quite sensitive at times, she is keen to please and be loved. For me it did work and that shouting was warranted.
So if your kid is being a complete nightmare and you do have a shouty day, don’t worry. We all have them and sometimes they just need to learn. The gremlin obviously did remember her telling off, as her behaviour did change and she knows I rarely shout.
I was a shouty Mum and I’d do it again.
What do you think?