Crying in Front of Your Kids? It’s Ok

crying in front of your kids

Sometimes life gets on top of you. Being a parent. Working. Running a household. Stress. Hormones. There are so many things that can cause you to break down. Yell, scream and cry and sometimes this means crying in front of your kids. And you know, that’s ok.

I remember when I wrote this post, back in 2015 when I first started blogging. I only had my gremlin; one child. It felt really hard somedays. Coping with being a first time Mum, as well as life generally. It was interesting to read back on how I was feeling and comparing it to now as a Mum of three.

This is how I was feeling and I’m glad I still feel the same way now about crying in front of your kids…

Since coming back from holidays life has been manic. Going back to work, catching up with the blogging, getting back into the gym, a wedding, BritMums and a low protein diet! Phew. It wasn’t a surprise I was struggling to sleep the weekend before going down to London and there was crying; a lot of crying.

I’m not good when I don’t sleep through a bit of insomnia. I seem to be able to cope better when the gremlin keeps me up, as it is out of my control but when I can’t sleep because of my dumb brain, it really gets me. I’m quiet, pale and very tearful.

I have written about having some issues with the gremlin smacking at the moment and bathtime the Thursday before BritMums was a blinder. I share the bath with the gremlin a good few times a week generally. I can cope with her knocking all the shampoo all over me and yanking my nipples and flicking water in my face. Standard times. However, she picked a cracking night to be a little monster. Long day and I had lots more to do before London.

Crying in front of Your Kids

I was very tired and she whacked me in the face for no real reason. I managed to keep cool but she went for me again scratching my cheek. I had that internal debate; do I cry or hold it in as it really hurt? Do I want my girl to see what she had done? What if she gets upset? I knew that it was the tiredness talking but I couldn’t help it. I started welling up and yelled for my hubby. I started to climb out of the bath as the gremlin just stared at me; she hasn’t sat that still in ages! Then she burst into tears as my hubby told her off for “making Mummy cry” and “she shouldn’t hit Mummy”.

I’m not sure she really understood it as she came running out of the bathroom wailing, whilst I was having a good sob getting dry (honestly I am ruined when I can’t sleep). She ended up getting dry and getting put into bed. I did get her back out again and we had a story and cuddle before I put her back (after all I was going away for a night!)

I pondered over my decision to cry in front of her and soon realised it was the right one. I’d read a post a while ago considering the same thing. Children need to realise we are not robots. We get sad, hurt and ultimately we do cry. They need to learn that and as long as they get a calm explanation to why we are sad and upset, I think it is a vital part of their learning and development. I didn’t like it when my Mum cried as a child but I usually knew why, could comfort her and we could move on afterwards. Not knowing why a parent is upset is more scary and uncertain.

I’ve started to sleep better since BritMums and starting my special low protein diet. The busyness has passed for a little while so my more rationale head is back on. I’m sure my slightly irrational side will rear it’s ugly head again but this time I won’t be as worried about getting a bit upset.

I’m human as well as a Mummy.

 

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21 Comments

  1. Chloe Ciliberto
    June 29, 2015 / 7:45 am

    Oh I hope you're ok. It sounds like you've had a crazy week. You're not alone in this, I am a quivering wreck when I'm tired. Stressed & emotional. I've cried in front of my daughter a few times from just being so exhausted. The last time I did she actually came up & gave me her bedtime comforter, as she's only 1, the pure shock of this made me sob even harder for different reasons. I hope you're week gets better, but I think it's definitely not wrong to cry in front of our children. We seem to forget that we don't need to have it together all of the time & put way too much pressure on ourselves. We are only human. xxx

    #mummymondays

    http://www.lifeunexpected.co.uk

  2. Kirsten Toyne
    June 29, 2015 / 8:43 am

    It is good for them to see that we have feelings too. It is one thing to burden our kids with all our worries (not great) but another to let them see that they can have an impact on us. I hope you have a better week. This phase of hitting will pass just not on any schedule. #mummymondays

  3. Kellie Kearney
    June 29, 2015 / 8:51 am

    I've cried many a time in front of my 5 year old. I think we should express our felling and I think there is nothing better than her showing a caring side and checking I'm okay. I'm preggers so I can cry because she shared with her one year old brother , it can be about anything really lol

  4. Mama, My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows
    June 29, 2015 / 9:45 am

    I'm terrible with less sleep than normal too. I think you did the right thing. I think showing kids that having emotions is healthy and maybe the 'ouch' message will get through a little 🙂

    • Mama, My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows
      June 29, 2015 / 9:46 am

      oops #mummymondays

  5. June 29, 2015 / 11:46 am

    Oh I hope your sleep goes back to normal soon, I can totay relate to preferring to be kept up by my toddler Than insomnia. This is a really interesting topic and I think I'd have done the same. They need to know that we aren't robots and have feelings too I think xx

  6. June 29, 2015 / 1:11 pm

    Aww! Hugs! I cried in front of my youngest the other week when she was being a monster! It doesn't hurt for them to see us cry….They need to see we have feelings! Glad you are sleeping better x

  7. Jenna Richards
    June 29, 2015 / 3:38 pm

    I can totally understand this. Jasmine (at 14 months) has a nasty habit of biting and pinching me when she doesn't get her way. I have cried in front of her because the usual "Ouch" or "Please don't do that" just makes her laugh. I want her to know that what she's doing is not appropriate.

    Good on you.

    #mummymondays

    Jenna at Tinyfootsteps xx

  8. June 29, 2015 / 3:40 pm

    I cried this morning, we all cried, a big mess of tears. Sleepless nights and lots of responsibility can make any mum crack. I crack all the time. You're right I don't think it's a bad thing to see us cry, it's natural. I can really relate to your post! #mummymonday

  9. Mrs Tubbs
    June 29, 2015 / 8:39 pm

    I think it's important to cry and let them know they've hurt you rather than hold it all in. It's part of learning that other people have feelings and actions have consquences. The Tubblet whacked me in the face once and I yelled ouch without thinking about it. She was shocked but it's never happened again. #mummymondays

    Glad you're sleeping better

  10. June 29, 2015 / 8:16 pm

    So nice to read this post. I've had a couple of those moments lately and stopped myself but actually I think you're right, it's good for them to realise we hurt too. We mums do have to feel guilty about everything though! Next time I think I'll just let it flow and see what happens. Bloody sleep deprivation!!! #mummy&us

  11. June 30, 2015 / 2:26 am

    I agree that they have to see we have emotions, we aren't nor can we be robots. I try not to lose my cool or cry in front of my children, but there have been times where they have seen me cry and I think as long as I explain why, and reassure them that I am strong enough to get over whatever it may be then they can learn that we all get hurt, but we can all get over things too. Thanks for linking up! #mummy&us

  12. Baby Isabella
    June 30, 2015 / 6:02 am

    Aww bless you hunny! My mummy cries when I lash out at her, even fake sobs to let me know I've hurt her. It always makes me apologise and rub her shoulder. I think I need to know that I've upset her. Sometimes actions are louder than words. #TwinklyTuesday

  13. Emmas Mamma
    June 30, 2015 / 10:31 am

    Aw hope you're feeling better now! It's so hard with little children and sleep depravation just makes it 10 times worse. I definitely think it's ok to cry as long as they understand why. We're only human after all xx #TwinklyTuesday

  14. June 30, 2015 / 11:23 am

    I hope you're ok.
    I cry in front of my girls! I did it on purpose {fake tears} since they were young because I wanted to learn them to comfort people when they cry! And they have learnt that now! Although, I try my best not to cry real tears in front of them.

  15. June 30, 2015 / 7:17 pm

    I definitely think you did the right thing lovely. Sometimes they just don't realise that what they have done is wrong until they see the consequences. Glad you are feeling better now, it is very annoying when it's something other than your child keeping you awake! Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

  16. July 1, 2015 / 2:28 pm

    I am very much the same – when I'm tired anything will make me cry! Especially when the boys push me and I shout, then I cry and feel like a bad mummy. I think they need to see emotion from us if they have done something wrong as otherwise they won't Riley realise #twinklytuesday xx

  17. July 3, 2015 / 7:33 am

    I totally think you did the right thing, I would do the same. Like you said we parents aren't robots. Children get to express their emotions all the time for us to deal with, I think it's right that they should see how their actions make us feel as parents. I'm not saying shout and scream at your child because they have done something wrong, it should always be done in a rational way but how are they ever going to learn the effects of their actions if we just brush it off each time and hide our emotions. #mummymonday stacey @ http://mumsblindlove.com

  18. July 3, 2015 / 10:36 pm

    I agree – you did the right thing, Sarah. It's important for us as parents to show children that we have emotions, and that they are not something to keep hidden or repressed – so it's okay for them to show us their emotions too. Being able to express how they feel openly is such an important part of their development process, I think.