Sometimes life gets on top of you. Being a parent. Working. Running a household. Stress. Hormones. There are so many things that can cause you to break down. Yell, scream and cry and sometimes this means crying in front of your kids. And you know, that’s ok.
I remember when I wrote this post, back in 2015 when I first started blogging. I only had my gremlin; one child. It felt really hard somedays. Coping with being a first time Mum, as well as life generally. It was interesting to read back on how I was feeling and comparing it to now as a Mum of three.
This is how I was feeling and I’m glad I still feel the same way now about crying in front of your kids…
Since coming back from holidays life has been manic. Going back to work, catching up with the blogging, getting back into the gym, a wedding, BritMums and a low protein diet! Phew. It wasn’t a surprise I was struggling to sleep the weekend before going down to London and there was crying; a lot of crying.
I’m not good when I don’t sleep through a bit of insomnia. I seem to be able to cope better when the gremlin keeps me up, as it is out of my control but when I can’t sleep because of my dumb brain, it really gets me. I’m quiet, pale and very tearful.
I have written about having some issues with the gremlin smacking at the moment and bathtime the Thursday before BritMums was a blinder. I share the bath with the gremlin a good few times a week generally. I can cope with her knocking all the shampoo all over me and yanking my nipples and flicking water in my face. Standard times. However, she picked a cracking night to be a little monster. Long day and I had lots more to do before London.
Crying in front of Your Kids
I was very tired and she whacked me in the face for no real reason. I managed to keep cool but she went for me again scratching my cheek. I had that internal debate; do I cry or hold it in as it really hurt? Do I want my girl to see what she had done? What if she gets upset? I knew that it was the tiredness talking but I couldn’t help it. I started welling up and yelled for my hubby. I started to climb out of the bath as the gremlin just stared at me; she hasn’t sat that still in ages! Then she burst into tears as my hubby told her off for “making Mummy cry” and “she shouldn’t hit Mummy”.
I’m not sure she really understood it as she came running out of the bathroom wailing, whilst I was having a good sob getting dry (honestly I am ruined when I can’t sleep). She ended up getting dry and getting put into bed. I did get her back out again and we had a story and cuddle before I put her back (after all I was going away for a night!)
I pondered over my decision to cry in front of her and soon realised it was the right one. I’d read a post a while ago considering the same thing. Children need to realise we are not robots. We get sad, hurt and ultimately we do cry. They need to learn that and as long as they get a calm explanation to why we are sad and upset, I think it is a vital part of their learning and development. I didn’t like it when my Mum cried as a child but I usually knew why, could comfort her and we could move on afterwards. Not knowing why a parent is upset is more scary and uncertain.
I’ve started to sleep better since BritMums and starting my special low protein diet. The busyness has passed for a little while so my more rationale head is back on. I’m sure my slightly irrational side will rear it’s ugly head again but this time I won’t be as worried about getting a bit upset.
I’m human as well as a Mummy.