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The BEST, Most Inappropriate Things Kids Say!

The BEST, Most Inappropriate Things Kids Say!

Kids! They say the most inappropriate things! I was casually minding my own business getting ready for work the other morning when my eldest rocked in. I have absolutely no idea where this came from but out of no where she asked me, “Mummy, have you ever eaten a willy?”

This was followed by questions of what a willy would taste like. I’ll stop there.

WOW! Kids! I obviously had to lie about the first question. I mean, I’m very honest with her but somethings at four? I don’t think so.

I love the funny things that kids say at this age. They are so innocent, so cute and so completely inappropriate!

The Inappropriate Things Kids Say

I decided to ask a group of bloggers what rude, dodgy and down right inappropriate things their kids have said and this is what they had to say:

“My little boy told someone I had a hairy willy!! (I don’t).” Jennie from Rice Cakes and Raisins.

““Daddy has big fluffy balls mummy” my eldest told me this after my husband won her some furry bouncy balls at the fayre. She shouted it in front of everyone! I was mortified!” Jenna from Then There Were Three.

“One of the older children claimed that meatballs look like testicles while we were eating meatballs and Pasta last week and my youngest was excitedly telling us how much she loves testicles. She also recently walked in on my partner in the shower so asked him if he was doing a wee in the shower because he has a ‘winky’.” Carly from Mummy and the Chunks.

“Mummy your boobies are so big but Nannys aren’t.” Lianne from Anklebiters Adventures.

” The last time I ever showered with my toddler son was the moment he yelled “you got me with your spiky fairy”” Charlie from Our Altered Life.

“My eldest, 10 at the time, asked my parents if they’ve ever “done a 69-er”. That was a ground swallow me up moment for all of us!! He had no idea what it meant!!” Laura from Five Little Doves.

“One of mine said (when asked what they were doing in the bath) “I found a hole in my bum so I put my finger in it”…” Kate from How To Feel Sexy in Big Knickers.

“I took my daughter to the toilet at a public event, there was a lot of woman in the toilets and my daughter shouted so loud ‘OMG MUM YOUR FRONT BUM! ITS SO FLUFFY’ . I wanted to die.” Rebecca from My Girls and Me.

“This one was me not my kids. I was about 9 and I remember hearing jokes about Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton, so I cracked one out to my mom and Dad at the dinner table (not having any inclination- just thought it rhymed) “what’s Bill Clinton’s favourite musical instrument?” “Harmonica” honestly even now I could vomit at the embarrassment of myself!” Emma from Ready Freddie Go.

“My eldest said today to my youngest ‘do you know sometimes adults fight with their tongues’ ” Ruth from Craft with Cartwright.

“Matthew told his little sister the other day (she was messing a bit and didn’t wanna go to the toilet). “You have to hold your Willy and point in the toilet “” Janine from Janine’s Little World.

“Almost every time I take H to the toilet when we’re out she exclaims “mummy you have a hairy bottom” followed by “mummy are you doing a poo? Can I see your poo?” And “you’re doing a wee wee!” I now just try to talk over her the whole time or avoid toilet trips especially after a billion times of these same conversations when we were in holiday!” Lynne from New Mummy Blog.

“My son once asked if I’d grow a willy when I turn into a man! I had to explain that women don’t grow into men.” Polly from Our Seaside Baby.

“My son used to call a boomerang, a boobiewank and asked his dad if he liked boobiewank!!” Jade from Jade’s Journey.

“My son wasn’t even 2 years old when he pointed to his daddy’s nether regions and shouted “COCK!” In the supermarket. I have no idea where he got that from but bloody hell I didn’t know weather to laugh or cry!” Joanne from Winging Mama-hood.

“I am still traumatised by the time Alfie who would have been around age 3 called helicopters telefuckers….no idea why but walking over the bridge home with him shouting telefuckers at the top of his voice created quite some looks from passers by!” Helen from Blogging Beautifully.

“I remember when Meme was younger and she suddenly starting shouting (at a rather overweight man) ‘mummy look that man is having a baby! Congratulations!!!’ Natalie from Meme and Harri.

“Walking my son to school one morning, my then 2 year old daughter saw a dandelion clock and shouted “Mummy, I want cock! Can I have a dandy cock?” I was mortified. All the other school parents were howling with laughter.” Cat from Pushing the Moon.

“My six year old asked if my boobs will fall off now I’m not having any more babies and don’t need them anymore!!” Victoria from Lylia Rose.

I have laughed and giggled at so many of these! Out of the mouths of babes eh? Inappropriate or what?

The best, most inappropriate things kids say

Please add any of your own corkers to the comments!