When I started writing this post entitled “My Husband Had a Vasectomy – How Do I Feel?”, it kind of felt a bit wrong; a little selfish and obviously about me. However, this blog has been very quiet over the last few months and I felt perhaps it was time for me to put my writing head back on and write something. He is also very keen to write a post himself about his experiences and I will let him do that when he’s fully recovered.
Deciding to Have a Vasectomy
I’ve written before about my husband’s decision to have a vasectomy. We knew after our third baby that we did not really want anymore children. You do just know. I still remember the midwife asking me if I would have anymore after my second daughter was born. I hesitated and she looked at me, grinned and told me I’d be back. She was right. Two years and 5 months later, I was back at our local birth unit, after a long 36 hour labour, about to have my most painful birth yet. Something changed immediately after I had him. Something clicked. I knew I never wanted to go through childbirth again and I knew I did not want to have any more children. My husband was in agreement.
However, when I look at this picture below….awwww!
Waiting for a Vasectomy
My husband is not know for moving quickly when it comes to big decisions and team that up with a global pandemic, arranging a vasectomy was not a priority. To be fair he looked into it and spoke with our GP prior to Covid-19 but afterwards, everything went very quiet and I needed to nag a little. I was pleased he had agreed generally, as since his op, a good few people have said to me their partners won’t do it. This always surprises me. As a woman, I feel we endure so much with periods, contraception, pregnancy and birth. A small one off op, doesn’t seem like a big deal to me but many men will not be convinced.
Waiting was a good while. My little man was growing up. His third birthday passed and nothing was arranged fully. My little man had an op for an umbilical granuloma in January 2022 and my husband admitted he wanted that done with first before focussing on the next steps. He finally heard and was given a date.
I’m not going to lie; there were a couple of pregnancy scares during the wait but the majority of the time we were ok. I had never gone back onto any contraception since our second child and luckily I have a regular cycle, so could figure out the safe times and use our imagination when not safe (!). It’s always worked for us but I’ll admit, I was looking forward to finally not having to worry. I’d read things about people saying it can improve a couple’s sex life when there is no risk of pregnancy and no pressure.
How Do I Feel Now?
As mentioned my husband wanted to write about his experiences, so I will leave that to him. The procedure, as I write this post was two days ago now and despite some soreness, he is recovering well.
I expected to feel a little panicked and like “OMG what have we done?” but I don’t. A few days before we sat down and looked at each other and asked, do we want anymore children? What would be the pros and cons?
The biggest pro of course was to have another child. A baby. A complete joy. Another part of us. A sibling for our babies.
But the list of cons just overwhelmed us. Age is a tricky one to talk about, as not everyone can have children when they want, if at all. They may settle down later, have issues but this is my personal blog and of course my opinions. For my husband at 41, he immediately said he was too old and for me, even at 37, I felt the same. I realised recently the late Queen had her 4th child at 37 but for me, my life is coming back. For one I have time to sit down and write this blog post! We have booked a trip away. I am doing new things. Seeing friends. Having time at home when the children are at school. It’s a new chapter. I don’t want to be starting again and I want to have the energy to do things with them.
All of this probably made me feel calm after his vasectomy. It was the right decision. It does feel strange knowing FOR SURE we are not having anymore (well we hope all works!) but at the same time, there is no regret or worry.
So for now we carry on being careful until my husband has been checked and knows pregnancy risks are minimal. I’ll perhaps update you and let you know how we have go on.
If you have any questions, of course just ask away!