One of the hardest parts of being in lockdown during the pandemic is so little time alone and so little time with my husband. It is so important to stay connected as a couple when you have kids, without lockdown and I know we struggle sometimes!! We were kind of lucky in some respects as the little man is still so small and needy and had just turned 1, as Covid-19 hit us. As a couple and as individuals we hadn’t started getting used to more time; more weekends away. The little man was only just coming to the end of his breastfeeding journey and we hadn’t left him with anyone overnight at that point. I literally had two weeks of childcare and two Tuesdays to myself before we were locked down and the kids were all at home with us 24/7.
I’ve had some days where I’ve been literally screaming for some alone time; for some time where no one will be calling out “mummy” and I’m frantically trying to get something done before I’m interrupted. Of course I’ve not been able to have it! We were just about to start thinking about letting my parents have the little man and have a hotel stay and then we were locked down! The girls have missed going for weekends away and we have missed the time as a couple.
We soon realised that during lockdown we would need to make an effort to stay connected as a couple, as we would just have no time together and may end up needing relationship counselling online.
Staying Connected as a Couple
You always have to remember after you have children, who you were as a couple before they came along. As I said, this can be difficult in normal circumstances! Let alone during lockdown when you cannot leave the house unless it’s for food or exercise. As things are starting to open up a little now, it is getting a little easier but sleepovers at Nanny and Grandad’s are not allowed yet!
We have tried the following ideas and it definitely has helped:
– Having a meal as a couple. It can be tricky if the girls mess around and stay up but I often get them to sleep or settled and hubby preps a meal. To make it even easier we buy something that doesn’t need a lot of cooking and it doesn’t take long. At first we found these meals weird, as would only talk about Covid!! This got better over time and we started chatting like we used to.
– A drink and a chat. I love Fridays and Saturdays as for me it is wine night and “date night”. It depends what we fancy but hubby and I will often have a drink and watch something fun on Netflix. Or we may switch off from TV and phones and just have a chat with some music on.
– Make time for sex. Yes I’m going there. I know we are knackered at bedtime and daytime nookie is firmly out of the window. Finding time has been tricky but often after a glass of wine and a giggle at the weekend, we can usually make some time! I’m not saying sex is the be all and end all but my hubby and I definitely feel more connected for a while after.
– Talk to each other when you can. We find this hard, as the kids actually never shut up or follow us all over but if they are chilling with screen time, use that time for a cuppa and a chat. Even if it only 30 minutes at the weekend.
– Plan what you would like to do when you do have the chance! It may not be a hotel stay yet or trip abroad but it may be some time together at home when they kids can go to grandparents.I have a feeling we will be sorting out our garage and office cupboards!!!! Complete romance.
It’s been a tough time for relationships and marriage during lockdown but it is so important to keep connected and make some time for each other.
I’m glad I’ve had my husband as my rock and it’s definitely made lockdown more bearable.
Let’s look forward to future meals out and weekends away!
Disclosure – this is a sponsored post.
